Bodai Shin, the Will to the Truth

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In Gakudo Yojin Shu Master Dogen encourages those who want to study Buddhism to forget fame and profit and instead pursue the truth. He says that to pursue the truth we must forget fame and profit. When you look at most Buddhists in the West today, very few of them seem to be interested in fame and profit. They are usually spiritually oriented people, some kind of intellectuals who are interested in philosophy and understanding the meaning of life rather than becoming famous or having some profit from practicing Buddhism. Still, there is something lurking around and that is this kind of desire  to become a better person, to attain a peaceful mind, to have better understanding of Buddhism than others and maybe become a successful Buddhist teacher that is better than other people. All those things may be a kind of personal, individual dream to achieve something special for myself rather than attain the truth and live the truth for the sake of the truth. Buddha Dharma means that an individual person never means more than the clouds, stars or the moon in the sky. This is what most people forget all the time, and I very often forget this and only when I practice zazen without trying to attain anything special, I can see that I don't matter more than anything that is in front of me. So master Dogen says that it is important to have something that is called Bodai Shin, the will to the truth, if we want to practice and study Buddhism. The will to the truth is the will to open myself to reality that is not limited by my self.

Bodai Shin is sometimes translated as the awakened mind, but master Nishijima translated that term as the will to the truth. In fact, our sincere effort to be here and now  when we let go of our dreams and ideas and opinions and just do something simply, is not different from the will to the truth. And this very will to the truth that is based on our opening to reality is not different from awakening. To sincerely practice zazen is not different from becoming a buddha. To sincerely study Buddhism with a true teacher is not different from realizing what Buddhism is. To walk, step by step, to the toilet without seeking  individual profit, is to become a buddha. To work in the office, moment after moment, dealing with all kinds of problems sincerely, is to become a buddha. But to say, hey, I am a buddha, you are not, is the same as being deluded. Reality is pure and independent on our opinions. Our words can only delude or wake up others, but they cannot replace one's own experience. Still we need a teacher, not a cocky individual who boasts a huge satori or a flawless life, but someone who can fix our naive ideas about ourselves, our problems and our understanding of Buddhism.  A true teacher is someone who can fix our direction when we seek the truth. He or she is the one who says from time to time, here, here, this is enlightenment. Not that! So we definitely need a true teacher, someone who has found the truth in the midst of everyday life, everyday problems and everyday dreams. Someone who knows that the truth is more important than self, but also who has no naive ideas about some kind of perfect Buddhist life that is only a dream and can never be something real.      

Of course, we are important and our individual life is important. We don't have to give up our ideas, feelings, dreams or ambitions. It is okay to love someone, it is okay to try to understand Buddhism better and it is okay to enjoy peace after an hour of zazen. We can clearly notice how peaceful we sometimes are after zazen. But if we stick to this aspect of our life, if we only stress the individual aspect of our life, only stress our own intellectual abilities, our feelings, our ambitions, which are all phenomena within a limited self, we will never understand and never attain the truth of someone who has gone beyond the individual, the intellectual, the dreams and the self. So we should realize that although we are important, especially that it is important how we act and how we treat others and do our job, when we let go of self and just do something sincerely, be it practicing zazen or studying Buddhist texts or driving or planning a lesson, just when the self is forgotten in the middle of our sincere actions, we are ready to accept what Buddha taught and even accepting what Buddha taught is not different from accepting the truth and our own enlightenment. So enlightenment is not something we should attain, rather something that is our original nature that we learn to accept. But to completely accept our own enlightenment is extremely difficult and may take  hundreds of years and it is usually impossible to accept it completely without practicing zazen with a true teacher who already accepted the truth of all things, mainly the truth of real practice without seeking something out of this world.

So Bodai Shin is the willing to let go of self, and let a true teacher tell us what Buddha Dharma is. Bodai Shin means that we are willing  to  learn from the world around us, the pebbles, the fences, the walls that can clearly show what Buddha Dharma is. Bodai shin is the will to the truth that is already present here and now. It is the will to open oneself to the very reality in front of us, the will to let the reality completely penetrate our self so the self is not separate, individual at that moment. Like that we can study and practice Buddhism every day without worrying whether we are enlightened or not. It is something completely humble and at the same time it is something one can enjoy and find pleasure in it. How can we find pleasure in something that is not us? It is not not us, it is just what it is and it is pleasure when it is pleasure, it is branches, when it is branches, it is clouds when it is clouds and it is pain when it is pain. But the self is not the manager of the universe. The branches are not something produced by a self, they are just branches, but we cannot be branches unless we drop our self. We cannot experience pleasure beyond our self, unless we drop our self. Then it is pleasure beyond self, and it is just pleasure and it is experienced by the whole universe. So rather than worrying how enlightened or how true we are, we can carefully observe the shape of the branches of the trees in the park. When we just observe, it is not an individual watching branches outside, but it is just branches being branches. When we go back to such selfless experience many many times a day, that is a Buddhist life. Then it is not important how peaceful or enlightened one is, it is important to let the world express its own peace and enlightenment that is not limited by our narrow mind. When the universe is enlightened, we don't have to establish our own enligtenment in it. Nobody needs that. When the universe is the truth, we don't have to attain our own narrow truth in it. The true universe is enough. And it is as open and as big as you need it. Its truth is as unlimited and as free as you need it.      

Master Dogen Stepped on Dry Shit

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In his Enlightenment Day jodo, a dharma talk on Buddha's awakening, master Dogen said:  

Whether Buddha is present or not present, I trust he is right under our feet. Face after face is Buddha's face; fulfillment after fulfillment is Buddha's fulfillment.

Last night, this mountain monk [Dogen] unintentionally stepped on a dried turd and it jumped up and covered heaven and earth. This mountain monk unintentionally stepped on it again, and it introduced itself, saying, "My name is Shakyamuni." Then, this mountain monk unintentionally stepped on his chest, and immediately he went and sat on the vajra seat, saw the morning star, bit through the traps and snares of conditioned birth, and cast away his old nest from the past. Without waiting for anyone to peck at his shell from outside, he received the thirty-two characteristics common to all buddhas, and together with this mountain monk, composed the following four line verse:

Stumbling I stepped on his chest and his backbone snapped,
Mountains and rivers swirling around, the dawn wind blew.
Penetrating seven and accomplishing eight,
bones piercing the heavens,
His face attained a sheet of golden skin. 

I'll try to explain this bizarre story. 

Firstly, it is necessary to note that the connection between Buddha and the turd comes from the mouth of the Chinese Zen master Ummon, who, upon being asked "What is Buddha?" replied: "Dry shit on a stick". The stick he meant was a special toilet instrument for cleaning the remote parts of our body. Therefore, before we criticize master Dogen for his rather vulgar insults and comparisons,  we should realize that he is making a link to master Ummon, whom he honored very much. To understand Dogen's bizarre story we must first understand the koan, a story in which the master Ummon says that Buddha is the same as dry shit on a stick. Master Ummon simply says that Buddha is the same as reality before our eyes. If there is dry shit    on a stick right in front of our eyes, then reality is just dry shit on a stick. Thus Buddha is dry shit on a stick. If it still seems disrespectful, imagine how the historical Buddha taught somewhere: "I'm mountains, rivers, forests, skies, clouds, grass, all living and non-living beings, earthworms, sand, wind, rocks, but certainly I'm not shit. And certainly not shit on a stick, something you wipe your ass with."  When  Buddha attained enlightenment, he said that together with him all things and all beings attained it. Enlightenment means to wake up to reality and reality does not exclude anything, so even a dry turd on a stick is necessarily a part of the enlightened reality. 

When master Dogen accidentally stepped on a dry turd, it jumped up and covered heaven and earth. This means that when in the present moment we do something, the fact just jumps up, no matter if you like it or not and becomes something unlimited. Most people are not interested in this vivid activity of reality. When master Dogen stepped on the turd again, the reality introduced itself as Buddha Shakyamuni. For Dogen, reality that jumps up is  Buddha Shakyamuni. So Dogen heard the reality introduce itself: "Hello, I'm Buddha." If we understand Buddhism as teachings of one great enlightened sage that is far beyond the ordinary character of common people, we cannot grasp that essentially Buddha Shakymuni's  awakening is reality that penetrates the person, which is the same as the state identical with reality. It is just reality, beyond subject and object. This means that to become a buddha means to become real. When the turd introduced itself as Buddha, it meant in other words: "Look, I am reality itself. I am that which Buddha realized and penetrated and was penetrated by thoroughly." And when Dogen stepped on the shit for the third time, the Buddha - reality opened the door to Buddha - reality, Buddha became Buddha, without having ever been far from being Buddha. By doing so, Buddha transcended the rigid understanding of the world and self and attained complete freedom at that moment. Without waiting for anything or anyone to confirm that experience, he became perfectly himself, he became Buddha, without having to change the reality of his original self and there was no need to add anything more to that complete state. 

And why did that happen several hundred years after the historic Buddha actually attained his awakening?   Why did Dogen claim that the shit jumped on the diamond seat and attained enlightenment during Dogen's lifetime and not a long, long time before Dogen was born? It is because Buddha's awakening doesn't depend on time and space, it is something that happens over and over again in each moment, right now, here, in your room, with all the things that you consider impure or unelightened. No matter where we go, no matter how strange we feel and no matter how dusty the surroundings, as long as reality jumps up in front of our eyes, it says: "Hello, My name is Buddha".  The quality and nature of reality is beyond the limited understanding of traditional science which has such a strong effect on the way we perceive reality. We consider it something logically built, something that can be explained logically, but we - as long as we rely on words and logic - only make intellectual patterns in our own minds. Yet, we can use words and logic to explain how to transcend the limited world of words and logic. So it is necessary to study the explanations of Buddhist masters rationally and precisely.  

This suddenly enlightened Buddha, together with Dogen, wrote a poem. Why did Buddha write it together with Dogen? We could say Dogen wrote the poem together with Buddha - reality, or in other words, Dogen, being one with reality, composed a poem. 

Finally, in his poem, Dogen describes how one penetrates and is penetrated by reality where the person and reality here and now is one thing. Dogen considers such a state excellent. So he uses words like "golden".  But the excellence of that state is not something out of this world. It is excellent because anyone can experience this without having to become a special person, without having to become a buddha, as we become a buddha whenever we just let reality be what it is, without discrimination. When a person goes beyond the dualistic understanding of the universe, just simply acting at the present moment, it is the same as Buddha appearing here and now, which is great, isn't it? To Dogen, such a person is excellent, no matter if the form of that person-experience is a noble face or dry shit.   

  

Discussing Genjo Koan Part I.

How can we transcend the dualism of subjective or objective understanding of things? 

When we first encounter Buddhism, we think, ah, some people may be very special, enlightened and I have no idea what that enlightenment is. But it must be something amazing. Thats's the subjective or idealistic outlook. It is a kind of delusion. When you cut into a dead body of an ordinary person and then cut into a body of a buddha, an enligthened person, you will find no lack or enlightenment or presence of enligthenment. So that's the objective view. Or materialism. But you can hardly find a person who would be strictly materialistic and had no ideals.


So although you say we have emotions and feelings, and as such cannot be strictly materialistic, you say it is naive to have ideals? 

No, we should have ideals. But what kind of ideals? That's the problem. There are naive ideals like the one based on communism or realistic ideals. Someone could have an ideal and become a successful politician. That's quite realistic - for certain kind of people. Somebody else may decide to climb the Mount Everest. So there are a lot of realistic ideals.

So trying to attain enlightenment - is that a realistic ideal or naive?      

If you put it that way - attain an enlightenment - then it is very naive because we are all enlightened. But if you say trying to attain the truth or realize what the truth is, then yes, it is a realistic ideal. You can realize what the truth is. That's possible.I am sure my teacher has realized what the truth is. But he never says he is enlightened. Which doesn't mean he isn't, but that term is just silly.

But to realize what the truth is we have to go beyond materialistic and idealistic. Do we have to go beyond the teaching of Buddhism? 

Yes, we study and practice Buddhism only to use it as a tool, but the tool is not reality itself, not attaining the truth itself. When you practice zazen in order to attain the truth, you are looking at the tool but you cannot throw it away after the job has been done. But if you let go of zazen as a tool and just practice zazen, you enter the reality and attain the truth. When you study Buddhism to understand the truth, it's ok, but it is not understanding the truth. When in the kitchen, doing the dishes, you completely forget about Buddhism, then you have used the tool and now you are in the kitchen and the tool - Buddhism - is not necessary at all. In other ways, you are realizing what the goal of Buddhism is. Helping you to find the truth in the midst of your ordinary life. And that life is beyond subject and object, material and idealistic. It's just reality itself.

Are we then free from delusions and materialistic obstacles? 

I think it's quite easy to be free from delusions when you are just doing something, but then delusions always come back. They are like flies always coming back to a piece of shit. But we can be as persevere as those flies and instead of sticking to our delusions always go back to the freedom based on acting in the present. But as for materialistic obstacles, no, we are always part of the material world and cannot escape it. Anyway, material world only becomes an obstacle when we make it an idea. For example if there is a concrete wall in front of you, it only becomes a problem if you have that wall in your head. The wall itself, objectively , is no problem. So that doesn't mean we don't have to eat or drink because once we don't imagine anything we don't need anything. We cannot escape the needs of our body. But just acting according to real needs of our body, those needs are no problem. But if you think: "Oh well, there is nothing to eat and I am too lazy to go shopping", then you have a problem. If you just go shoping, no problem.

Sometimes we cannot do anything. Sometimes there is some sexual desire and we cannot find a partner and we are frustrated. So is that a materialistic or idealistic problem?   

Sometimes there is no food or drinking water and there is nothing you can do. Take some African countries. Sometimes we want to stay alive but a disease is killing us. So quite often although we have some physical needs, we have to be patient and respect the unfortunate situation. Sometimes we are lonely, or we'd like a partner but there is no such a person. So that is both a physical problem, our sexual or emotional desire and problem in our mind, our ideas about having a partner. We cannot solve this problem on the material level, but again, we can transcend the problem acting in the present moment.  To be patient does not mean to be waiting and waiting, but to act no matter how bad the situation is. When I was a kid and had to practice the piano which I hated  for some reason, I was told to practice for one hour. To me it meant I had to wait until that terrible one hour was over. Nobody told me that it would have been much easier for me if I had only focused on the playing itself forgetting the time. When you are with a doctor and they are operating on you and it is painful, you cannot wait, but only act now - even if it seems impossible to do anything, you can still breathe. When we concentrate on breathing, which may be the only thing we are able to do, then that will help us overcome the pain and overcome our ideas and mental frustration. So Buddhism doesn't teach that it is possible to feel calm and peaceful and happy no matter what. It teaches that we can accept reality and if we completely accept reality, no matter how unfortunate, we don't suffer as much as when we create our own terrible world.  Master Dogen writes in Genjo Koan that no matter when we love flowers, they die and no matter if we hate weeds, they grow in abundance. That means that no matter what we want the world is just what it is and often it is anything but ideal. The world will never perfectly suit our personal needs. On the other hand, when we just act now, it is always perfectly satisfying.      

So we cannot be happy all the time, but we can be happy in those moments when we don't even realize what we love and hate and just act.

Yes, just acting no matter what. When the conditions are ok, we are completely satisfied. And when you study and practice Buddhism, you can realize that that is complete satisfaction, a completely enlightened and enlightening state, but before you study Buddhism, it is hard to realize. It is just a kind of vague idea, some kind of idealism somewhere in the air. So we can be completely satisfied despite completely unsatisfying conditions. Living in a small apartment with a person, "whose figure is less than Greek and whose lips are a  little weak and when she opens it and speaks...are you smart?" And your green tea is not the best kind from Japan and your TV screen is not as big as your neighbors. But you do something now and feel happy. So thats' what master Dogen means in the first paragraph of Genjo Koan.

I still struggle to understand how it is possible to practice zazen without an ideal. It's difficult to sit on the zafu and forget those ideas about what Buddhism can give to a person... like after twenty years on the zafu, it might be much better life, more peace, more happiness, more wisdom. How can you sit without having a goal?

It's a matter of faith. Although it is hard to undertand how one could be enlightened "just like this", what is the problem when you just sit? Can you appreciate the wisdom of silence, the wisdom of simple sitting or not? Even if you struggle to appreciate it, you will appreciate it sooner or later. The doubts and confusion will gradually fall off. And you will realize that you have always been just like this and your zazen satisfying and complete.

Master Dogen says: Some people are buddhas and some people are ordinary beings. So naturally, I wonder how one becomes a buddha.  

That's the whole secret of Buddhism. How one becomes a buddha? Becoming a buddha is not becoming a buddha. When you just sit, you are a buddha. When you think I am not a buddha, you are not a buddha, but at the same time you are a buddha. You can look at this problem from  the idealistic point of view - becoming a buddha, the objective point of view / not becoming a buddha or just act and enter the truth that is beyond becoming and not becoming buddha and ordinary beings. So practicing zazen is supported by a philosophy, but that practicing is more important than that philosophy. By acting we complete the task, by thinking we encourage ourselves to complete the task, but we cannot complete it on the level of thinking. So if you wonder how one becomes a buddha, you will never find out completely. If you just act now, you have solved the problem beyond intellectual understanding.

Yes, but Buddhism is not something illogical or beyond intellectual understanding, is it? Master Nishijima says that it is always possible to explain all kinds of Buddhist aspects and master Dogen criticized the opinions of some Buddhists who said that Buddhism was beyond reasoning. 

I have said that the final solution is beyond intellect but even that is my explanation that, as I hope, makes sense. So we explain logically something that has to be solved beyond logic. But everything that happens can be explained. Including putting a shoe on your head. That is something we can explain but someone has to put a shoe on their head. That's the problem.

Stupid Sitting

Most people believe that Buddhism's principal goal is to make a great person, someone with great values, great behavior, great character, someone detached and caring at the same time. But when we practice zazen thinking that zazen could help us achieve something like that, then we are not really practicing zazen or Buddhism. Instead we are trapped in some kind of idealistic philosophy. When we practice zazen, we just sit, it is a simple action. So a simple action, zazen, is the basis of all Buddhist philosophy. And besides zazen it is all what we do, simply, stupidly, in a way, like getting up in the morning, taking a shower, driving, all done simply and kind of stupidly, without thinking about great human values.

But that does not mean that Buddhism is not something great. Buddhism is great but not because it stresses great values, but because it stresses simple actions. The greatness of Buddhism lies in stressing the simplest, the actual experience that has to be done in the present moment. So there is something extremely stupid about Buddhism and at the same time this stupid character of Buddhism is wonderful. It is wonderful to just act, stupidly.

As we know, there are hundreds of theories in Buddhist philosophy. So we cannot say that there is nothing intellectual or nothing civilized about Buddhism. Those theories have their own values, they are tools, philosophical categories and help to understand the human life from the Buddhist point of view. Buddhism is a great part of human civilization, it is a kind of wonderful culture. But when we study it thoroughly, practice it every day in zazen, when we learn it from a real, honest person, we gradually begin to understand that the secret of Buddhism is the ultimate simplicity ot the present action. When we understand that the secret of Buddhism lies in the ultimate simplicity of the present action, we let go of urgent or mixed up intellectual ideas and go back to our simple, kind of stupid life and find complete satisfaction and the truth itself there.

So to sit zazen stupidly every day and do all kinds of everyday activities simply, without worrying about their intellectual or spiritual values, is the best way how to practice and study the secret of Buddhism.

It's OK that Nobody's Perfect

Last time I decided to ask myself questions about happiness. I found out that asking myself helps me a lot to explain certain problems to myself or others. It is strange to write an article about happiness in terms of writing a single text as if I wanted to explain a problem nobody asked me about. But if there are questions, I feel more natural to answer them. As nobody asks me questions about Buddhism, or hardly ever, I think I will ask myself more and write these interviews down. My teacher Mike says it helps him to teach Buddhism to others. By teaching, he can encourage himself to practice Buddhism. I don't teach Buddhism formally, but I can encourage myself by writing about Buddhism and asking myself about it seems the best way.

Last time you said people can practice active peacefulness or peaceful activity when they don't disturb the original balance of body-mind. But do you know anyone who is always happy, who can live like that all the time? 

All the time? No. I think we can live more or less happily every day, but all the time is a rather abstract concept. People tend to want things forever or for years but such ideas about time only disturb the balance of body-mind. You think a lot and neglect actual activities. I remember when I was at a Zen Buddhist temple for the first time and wanted to attain "enlightenment". I imagined that until I attain "enlightenment", my life wouldn't be complete and I couldn't be completely satisfied. I thought that after "enlightenment" I would be completely satisfied until the very end of my life. But the people who have realized what reality is, which is what that vague term "enlightenment" basically means, can only practice some kind of balancing, rather than  being perfectly balanced all the time. No matter how good you are at riding a bicycle, you can only balance, wobble, rather than  maintaining a perfectly balanced position of your bike. The whole universe is like that - it is something dynamic, not static. So there is no perfect balance anywhere in the universe. All the great people we have met and who seem strong and balanced are just balancing things, they are dynamically moving from left to right, wobbling around the center, sometimes a bit sad, sometimes a bit angry, sometimes a bit funny, but never perfect. The essence is perfect, the universe that we are part of, is basically perfect, but a person is never like that. Some people are disappointed when they find out that Brad Warner has some personal problems or shows some negative emotions. And some people who look for a perfect Zen master may be disappointed when they find out Mike is a real person who acts and speaks just like other people. But Mike or Brad know exactly what supports them and can make good use of that platform. So they return to the source of balance and can enjoy that state of peaceful activity in their lives, although they may have lots of different problems.

It seems that people interested in Buddhism tend to look for perfectly happy and peaceful masters, teachers and hope to achieve such a perfectly happy lives themselves. But Brad or Mike act just like others, sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes peaceful, sometimes angry. How can they inspire others if they are not perfectly happy or peaceful? What can we learn from them, other than Buddhist philosophy? 

I have never met Gautama Buddha so I don't know if he was perfectly happy. But I think the biggest misunderstanding of the role of a Buddhist teacher is that people tend to confuse someone's character with attaining some kind of quality, some kind of personality. There are lots of people in this world with a great character, or people who are naturally happy and peaceful. And there are lots of people who tend to be very emotional, their mood changes a lot, their character is very complex and they have a lot of personal problems. All these kinds of people may become involved in practicing Buddhism.  We can notice that Buddhism doesn't change their character at all. The peaceful types may be a bit more peaceful, because zazen helps us settle, so if someone who is already peaceful sits in zazen, they are almost perfectly peaceful, but those very emotional or sensitive people who practice zazen are just a bit less emotional. So there is hardly any difference at all. This is what most Buddhists don't realize and keep their naive ideas about how Buddhism will change their personality completely. They think they will be like Dalailama or Gandhi. I don't think so.

So what is the point then, what does zazen give you other than feeling a tiny bit better? 

Buddhist practice is not about changing ourselves but becoming ourselves, finding the reality of what we are and what we are not. So our true potential can be revealed. When I practice zazen I realize that I don't have to be what I am not and that is nice, it is like taking off some burden. You don't have to think about it, it just happens naturally. But if you have doubts about what reality is, then it is sometimes difficult to be what you are. I talked about happiness last time but the happiness I mean is really just being what we are where we are without trying to be somebody else and somewhere else. A frustrated, confused person wants to be enlightened, peaceful and happy. An enlightened, peaceful and happy person doesn't worry when he or she is frustrated or confused. So being frustrated or confused is no problem! Just let's ourselves be whatever we are just now. And when a frustrated and confused person just grabs a cup and drinks tea, instantly they are not frustrated anymore. For a second or two. Or five minutes. A wise person can feel lots of happy moments in between sadness, confusion and frustration. A silly person has lots of difficulties doing simple things and enjoying simple things. A silly person says: I am not enlightened. I am not good enough. I  am not this. I am not that and I want to be that and not this. Thinking like this they forget to close the door. I am silly like that, too, but not so much as in the past, I hope.

It seems that Buddhism is not so special as most people imagine.  

Exactly! It's just about our original state. But the civilization tends to ignore this treasure, this natural state of a human being that is the source of the greatest things that have actually happened in this civilization. The paradox is that the greatest artists, philosophers, teachers, politicians did their best things thanks to being natural, acting naturally, just being themselves completely. Like when Leonardo painted Mona Lisa or when John Fitzgerald Kennedy gave his best speech. That original state opens our utmost honesty and that honesty enables us to act the best we can and do the best things. A cook that is absolutely honest is the best cook and the bricklayer who is absolutely himself and sincere is the best bricklayer. So this civilization is paradoxically built upon the very natural state of a human being. And Buddhism points to that state and says: Look, that's worth noticing and worth practicing and doing! So to become a Buddhist means to aspire to get the best out of our personality, without changing its original nature, without becoming somebody we are not and never will be.

So what is the most inspiring or valuable thing that your teacher Mike gives you? 

There are lots of things. He is interested only in real things. But that doesn't mean he is like a computer. He is very sensitive, he can be absolutely tender when he comes across certain things. Mike has taught me through his acting that how we feel is also very important and part of our real lives. We cannot ignore how we feel ourselves or how other people feel. So he is very sensitive and caring. On the other hand, he has no respect for lies or pretentious behavior or nonsense that some people consider great. He is interested in honest questions and honest answers that are based on someone's real experience and if you pretend something, he won't be happy and he can make terrible faces in such situations. He can be gentle and kind in one moment, but then he looks like a rock. What I really appreciate is that Mike doesn't hide his weak points, he always corrects people when they tend to see him as someone great. He says that he is awful or or even calls himself names.

Is that character the result of his Buddhist practice? Or was he like that even before practicing Buddhism?

I asked him about it and what I understand is that practicing Buddhism has made him just more clear, more himself. Just like what I said about the effects of zazen. So it is a big mistake to conclude that a Buddhist teacher should be just like Mike. A Buddhist teacher should be just like himself or herself, not somebody else. That's the point. We should learn from people who have only made themselves real, not from someone who is always happy or peaceful, because if they teach us to be always happy and peaceful, they will only make us frustrated. I have met several teachers like that and it never worked. Plus most of them only pretended they were special. So that has nothing to do with Buddhism. It doesn't matter if a teacher is always kind or always firm, but they must be honest and realistic and sincerely caring, not just talking about caring. Brad is very different from Mike, they have different characters, very different, but both are absolutely honest. I don't know Brad so well, I only met him once, but I believe he is like that. And both can encourage others to lead a balanced life and they both do their best to lead their lives in a balanced way. If they fail today or tomorrow or sometimes, that's not important, but they know the value of the balanced state and the value of realistic, honest life and they live like that and that's important. They are great people and beautifully and sincerely imperfect.

Hansel and Gretel - a Buddhist version

I wrote this after Mike Luetchford's talk a few days ago in Brno on the law of cause and effect. After the talk, suddenly I decided to rewrite this famous fairy tale. It may be totally off the mark, totally useless, crazy, boring and whatever. But I just did it. It was fun to write it. It is based on a version I found on the internet, but I only left very few words intact, otherwise used my own language and added different things and changed the plot a bit.


Here it is

Simply Gretel


A woodcutter lived in a tiny cottage in the forest with his two children, Hansel and Gretel. Although he was quite poor, he often felt calm and happy. He enjoyed chopping wood or playing with his kids. But his second wife yelled at the children and bitched about this and that and nagged the woodcutter.
"There isn’t enough food. It’s high time we got rid of the two brats," she said. Then she told her husband to leave the children in the forest. Despite his love for them, he was unable to resist. He felt weak when he heard his wife’s commanding voice.
"Take them miles away from here so they never find their way back home!"
Hansel had overheard his parents' talk.
"If they do leave us in the forest, we'll find the way home," he said to his sister.
“Maybe”, she said. “But is this still our home? Dad loves us, for sure, but this lady will always give us a hard time and chase us away.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. Let’s see how things unfold.”

The next morning the woodcutter took Hansel and Gretel away into the forest. He didn’t think much, just kept walking. “This must be a strange dream. Only a dream,” he thought. After walking several miles he had to stop. He almost fainted.
Soon the kids realized they were lost and without their father. But Gretel did not panic.
"I know we’re lost and hungry and it is pitch-dark now. Anyway, this can’t last forever. We’ll find out what to do!"
Gretel tried to encourage her brother, but she too shivered when she saw shadows and strange shapes around them in the darkness. All night the two children sat at the foot of a large tree. They couldn’t fall asleep.
At dawn they started to wander around the forest, seeking a path, a path to a friendly world. At last they came upon a cottage in the middle of a glade.
"This is chocolate!" said Hansel and broke a bit of chocolate from the wall.
"And this is icing!" said Gretel, putting another piece of wall in her mouth.
It seemed the friendly world was found. But then Gretel said:
“Wait a minute. We can’t just eat something that isn’t ours.”
“So what,” said Hansel. ”I’m hungry.”
“Nobody should eat other people’s houses. Maybe someone will come out and offer real food.”
"I haven’t eaten the house anyway, just a bit of wall," Hansel said, munching on another piece of something delicious. Then the door quietly opened.
"Well, well!" said a strange, old woman. "And haven't you children a sweet tooth?"
They looked at her but said nothing.
"Come in!” said the old woman. “You’ve got nothing to fear!”

The candy cottage belonged to a witch.

After a few more friendly and kind words, she said:
"You kids are nothing but skin and bones!"
All of a sudden, she grabbed Hansel and locked him into an old, rotten cage.
“I shall fatten you up and eat you!"
“Strange English”, thought Gretel.
Hansel was frightened but his sister just shook her head. It seemed they were dreaming. Was this a fairy tale? Was this reality? Gretel wasn’t sure. She loved fairy tales. But not in real life.
“Not now,” she sighed. “We don’t want fairy tales now. Sometimes fairy tales are horrible, just like reality.”

"You can do the housework," the woman told Gretel, "then I'll make a meal of you too!"
“I was right, “Gretel thought. “This is real life. Real life and a horror. Both. ”

The witch checked Hansel’s finger every day to see if he had gained weight.
"You're still much too thin!" she said after a month.
One day she had enough of waiting.
"Light the oven," she told the girl. "We're going to roast him!"
Gretel didn’t move. She was thinking about something, paying little attention to the old woman.
The witch screamed at the little girl: "Useless child! All right, I'll do it myself."
Later the witch wanted to see if the oven was hot enough.
“Now I could just push her inside,” Gretel thought. “Push her and slam the door. But that…” the girl shook her head, “that would be too much.”
She looked at her brother who was trembling. As the woman was about to stick her head into the door, Gretel said:
“Hold on. I know you’re starving. But let me ask you something before you roast my poor brother.”
The witch was shocked.
“How dare you… you…” she gasped.
“We both know that if you roast Hansel, you can eat him.”
“What,” said the witch and felt as if she was falling asleep.
“This is the law of cause and effect. When you push me hard, I fall down.”
“What,” sighed the witch. ”I must be dreaming,” she thought and then said: “What on earth…heaven…”
“Let me explain. If you roast Hansel, you eat. If you don’t roast Hansel, you don’t eat.”
Suddenly the witch could see shadows coming out from the darkness. It was more and more clear that she was facing something she had already experienced in the past. In the past she would try to find the meaning of life and death but found nothing, only frustration and anger. This girl was talking about philosophy.
“Philosophy,” the witch whispered.
“Madam,” said Gretel. “What is the situation where there is no room for a process of cause and effect?”
“I don’t know,” puffed the witch.
Gretel grabbed a shovel and hit her. The witch shivered a bit but stayed quiet.
“This is the real situation where there is no room for a process of cause and effect,” said Gretel.
The woman said in a calm voice:
“Now I see that you have found the meaning of life and death. I had been looking for it almost all my life but recently I gave up and became a child-eater. I am a criminal. Nobody likes me. I like nobody. I just eat poor little kids. I would like to ask you to teach me to see what the meaning of life and death is.”
“For now,” said the girl, “we’ve had enough theories. I hit you, which was an action, not a theory, not something you only imagine in your fairy tales. Now let me and Hansel get some food in the nearest village so we can all have dinner. Then we can discuss philosophy again.”

The witch couldn’t wait to listen to Gretel’s teaching. She didn’t want to eat, just discuss philosophy. She felt as if only talking to the girl would fill her stomach. But Gretel grabbed her brother and left the cottage.

On the way to the nearest village Hansel asked:
“How can I become as wise as you?”
“I’m not very wise. I just asked the old woman a question. She got stuck in her thoughts about this and that so I hit her. Anyway, we were lucky. If it hadn’t been for her interest in philosophy, she would’ve killed us. There are plenty of mad people, not just fairy tales characters. Some adults don’t believe in witches but I do.”
"I still don’t know what you said to her about effects and meanings. Could you explain it to me?”
“We came across that candy house, so we got into trouble. But as we ate the sweet chocolate, we were free. We didn’t know about our past or future problems. So I wanted to show her that beside her life that’s full of causes and effects, there’s also freedom within a simple action here and now. This simple action here and now provides a point where we can overcome the burden of our past actions and stop worrying about the future. Although we have to count on the law of cause and effect and can never escape it, not even in our dreams, not even in fairy tales, we can also enjoy freedom of the present. I wanted to show her that her life can become more balanced if she appreciates what she simply does here and now, be it washing clothes or just looking out of the window.”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about. But I’ll try to… I’ll study…”
“Yes. As you wish. But now don’t worry. Let’s just do the shopping.”

As they were walking down the forest path, they ran into their father who was desperately looking for them. They were all overjoyed.
“Your stepmother has died. It was a virus. Come home with me now, my beloved children!"
“Dad!” said Gretel. “Let’s first do some shopping. We’ve met this lady and we promised we would bring her some food from the nearest village. She’s starving! She almost ate Hansel. Really. Just like in the fairy tale. We did survive. Now let’s just buy some food, eat dinner with the lady and then go home.”
"Let’s do that!" said the father. “By the way, is the lady attractive?”
“Arrgh,” said Hansel, “she looks like a big old witch, Dad!”
"I hope,” Hansel said when they came to the village at last. “I hope that sometime we’ll find gold in the woods and become rich and there’ll be no more work for us. Just fun. “
“Just fun,” the father shook his head and smiled. “I quite like chopping wood.”

No Profit for You or Me

Kodo Sawaki, a Japanese Buddhist teacher who lived in the 20th century and taught Nishijima Roshi, often stressed that there is nothing to gain in practicing zazen or studying Buddhism. He taught that someone who tries to achieve something in Buddhism, be it through zazen or studying the Buddhist philosophy or discussing it or burning incense, makes a mistake if they believe Buddhism gives one a personal profit. According to Sawaki, satori or peaceful mind has nothing to do with Buddhism, if it limited to one person only. In other words, if you believe you can boast a satori or boast peaceful mind, you have misunderstood what Buddhism is.

Most people expect Buddhist practice to give them something they could personally profit from. If they don't believe they can attain enlightenment, they at least believe they can achieve some kind of peaceful mind. As soon as I came across books about Zen, I wanted to attain satori and become a fantastic person without any problems. And a lot of Buddhist teachers are considered enlightened and having a peaceful mind and no problems in their lives and people look up to them and follow them as if they were some kind of Gods. But according to Sawaki, it is ridiculous to brag and say, hey I am enlightened and I have no problems and am detached from the world. For Sawaki, satori is something you don't even realize happening - as you are practicing zazen without trying to attain anything special, satori comes in abundance, over and over again. Kodo Sawaki said: "It’s satori that pulls our practice. We practice, being dragged all over by satori." So there is no reason to make a difference between enlightened and unenlightened people. The only thing that matters is whether you practice zazen or not. Everyone is enlightened, but in Buddhism we learn to realize what we are ( what this enlightenment is ) as we practice zazen over and over again, never coming to an end of this practice.

But is it humanly possible to practice zazen without expecting at least a little bit of difference? Don't we realize we are more balanced, more content after zazen? Yes, I have almost always felt more balanced and more content after zazen, but only because I just practiced without looking for a personal benefit. I remember times when I practiced zazen in order to attain something special and it was almost unbearably difficult to continue like that. Such practice is like nurturing one's personal frustration. YOu practice only to find out that you have not made any progress. But when you give up and only practice in order to practice, immediately you can calm down and sit peacefully. But it is not your personal peace, it is the universal peace that has captured you completely. So to me, zazen itself, practicing zazen here and now is enough, satisfying enough. Also in everyday life, if we hope to feel excellent all the time, energetic all the time, our mind clear all the time and if we compare our ideals about some kind of Buddhist life with our actual life, we will be very frustrated. It is much better to give up these ideals and just act here and now. When there is a gap between me and the present moment, this place, then we can never be satisfied.

What most Buddhists hope for is some kind of great feeling or great mind after practicing for some time, but they can only attain - and it's wonderful to attain it - this place and this moment beyond the duality of myself and the world. So no matter how long you have practiced or how many times you have experienced something you may call satori, you can only be here and now and be the person you have always been - just yourself, content doing something concrete here and now. So what kind of personal profit is it? Once you call it personal profit, my satori, my peace, you already break the whole thing into peaces and become the same ordinary person who only sees the world as something outer.

There is something one can achieve in Buddhism, but that something is not limited to one person only, but is spread throughout the universe. "The universe" sounds too abstract maybe, but I just mean something that is immeasurable and limitless. Something we experience now and cannot see its limits and cannot call it any names. So the thing you realize in Buddhism through practice and philosophy is not something you can measure and say this is mine, not yours. What you realize practicing zazen and studying Buddhist teaching is something that has come from all beings, all things, it is something that has come from you, too. When you wash the dishes and feel balanced, it is not you only, the whole world is balanced. And when you look at a countryside and the countryside looks beautiful, it is not something separate from you, it is beauty that is yours. So whatever we do, whatever we see, it is always originally something complete. And this completeness is satisfying, but once you say I am satisfied by this completeness, you make the completness something incomplete, something objective. It is the same with satori, once you say I have "satori", what kind of satori is it that you can point to and say you have it? Of course, to attain the truth is possible in Buddhism, but the truth is beyond something objective that one can possess while the others cannot. So a person of the truth, someone who has realized the truth has no special qualities or something to show off.

A person of the truth may talk about feeling balanced and peaceful but he or she does not keep that state for himself or herself, but freely gives it up for the others. He or she shares his satori or Buddhist state with others, not "Here, this is my Buddhist state", but "Here, look, this is your Buddhist state. " Everyone experiences the Buddhist state many times a day, but most of us don't realize this. Buddhism teaches us to realize what Buddhist state is and enjoy it when it happens. But whenever it happens, you give it up freely, share it with the whole world. If you don't give it up, it is not a Buddhist state. If you give it up, there is no profit. No profit for me, no profit for you, just the whole world benefits from the state that is beyond personal limits.

Is the Truth Complete?

Here is a bit of GENJO KOAN, a chapter from master Dogen's Shobogenzo, in Mike Luetchford's modern interpretation:


When we feel confident that we understand reality, in fact we are far from it.
When we are actually one with reality, we often feel that something is missing.

I came across some discussions on the net about what these ideas of master Dogen might mean and here is my take on what they probably mean:


When we think we understand the truth, we are only on the intellectual level, and there, in the midst of our ideas, we miss the target.

When we are one with the truth, we can't see the whole of it. Ideally, the truth is something complete, nothing is missing, but we can never find a point of view that would provide this complete view of things. So instead of trying to find the perfect point of view, we just let it be and in this moment, just acting, we are one with reality, but beyond the ideal of completeness. The finality or definition of the truth is again something intellectual, it is something we only imagine. The truth, actually, is something we don't imagine, it is just here and now, and here and now, it doesn't seem complete to a person being one with it. So a person who is one with the truth cannot find something complete, cannot show something complete to the others.

In Buddhism we sometimes naively expect that one day we will see things completely and finally. At last everything will be clear and we will be enlightened. But people of the truth cannot experience something this rigid. Instead they experience something that is impossible to stop or grasp or limit with words.

We could also give an example of a person working in the garden, someone who has never heard of Buddhism. To a naive Buddhist, this person, focusing on trimming some bushes, is far from buddhahood, far from awakening. But such a person, just simply cutting the twigs is one with the truth. There is no celebration of the person's awakening. No gods are coming to greet the person and bow in front of him or her. There is just trimming, cutting here and now. The gardener cannot notice anything special or grand or worth mentioning. What did you do in the afternoon? I just trimmed some bushes. And now I am going to the pub to drink some beer. My husband is already waiting there for me.

When we look at a statue of Buddha, we see something splendid, someone splendid, noble sitting in a beautiful posture. But to Buddha, it is just sitting, nothing else. Just a simple action in the present. No celebration is necessary. Yet in Buddhist literature, awakening or sitting in Buddha's posture is often celebrated. However, it is rather the celebration that seems splendid and complete. The thing being celebrated is usually forgotten in all the marvelous display of colors and lights.

Real Mike

After a long break, I am back trying to post something. As usual, I am very active in summer, when it comes to studying Buddhism and writing about it. I have a lot of time in summer, two months of vacation. So I can go cycling, hiking, swimming and the relaxed mind I achieve by these activities helps me fully concentrate on studying Buddhist philosophy. Mike Luetchford was in the Czech Republic for several weeks in July and as always, it was very fruitful experience for me, and hopefully, for others, too. I had the chance to spend a few days with him privately at a weekend house in the country and learn about him informally and casually. This experience - spending private time with Mike - opened my eyes to what Mike is in fact - a human being. Of course, I had known even before he is not superhuman but still, the idea that he is a Buddhist master, had been too overwhelming for me. It had been difficult to see him as an ordinary person, although theoretically I knew he was. But it was only a theory because I'd often not felt quite relaxed in his presence until I experienced some personal and private things with him at the weekend house and there was nowhere to escape. So gradually, at the weekend house, as we ate, drank (tea or coffee or juice), told stories, watched movies, played piano and trumpet, sat in front of the fireplace, visited a museum, went cycling etc., only gradually my strange feeling that I am there with a very special person gave way to something better - being just myself spending time with someone who was somehow becoming my friend, things just got more and more relaxed and friendly, that's all.

I think I noticed and learned one important thing, or this is one of those things I learned, but for me it was a nice discovery. Before the holidays I somehow thought Mike - the way he is and speaks and acts - represents Buddhism. Maybe that's what made me nervous before. You know, all of Buddhism right in front of you may be scary! But at the weekend house I gradually realised that Mike does not represent Buddhism. He represents just himself. But representing just himself represents Buddhism. Different, isn't it?

So everyone who is just himself or herself at this moment, represents Buddhism. Scary, isn't it? No, this is the least scary thing about Buddhism, but still, very difficult to believe for most people. Just being myself is enough? No special qualities are necessary? Anyway, I will post more tomorrow or some other time. I have written a lot of texts lately, but almost all of them are in Czech. But at least I will post sometime what those articles in Czech are about. Just brief versions.

Wisdom versus Knowledge

This is an essay I have written for my students at the school where I teach. I am trying to explain to them that wisdom is important and that we often misunderstand what true wisdom is. Here it is:

There are three things whose meaning people usually confuse. Knowledge, intelligence and wisdom. These three things are not the same. As civilized people we need all of them. We are born with some potential for knowledge, potential for intelligence and potential for wisdom.

There are all kinds of people – people of high intelligence and little knowledge, people of high knowledge and low intelligence, people who have plenty of both. There are people who are very wise and people who are little wise. But I believe that true wisdom is usually misunderstood or underestimated. Wisdom does not depend on knowledge or intelligence very much. But thanks to intelligence and knowledge, we can explain or argue what wisdom is. Here I will try to explain what wisdom is based on my studies and practice in recent years:

Wisdom is something you express before you think. Wisdom is something you express when you stop talking because you feel there is nothing to say any more. Wisdom is to say something when you feel the one you love is waiting for a word – you don’t know what to say, but you say it anyway and you say the right word. Wisdom is when you give something even when you know you’ll lose. Wisdom is when you lose and it is okay with you. Wisdom is when you let someone weaker win a fight. Wisdom is when you let go of something you want very much but it is trying to escape. Wisdom is when you don’t try to run away from a very difficult situation. Wisdom is when you do what you feel is good, although you have no idea how to explain it. Wisdom is to stop an argument even if you think you are right. Wisdom is when you don’t pretend you know something you actually don’t know. Wisdom is when you grab a hammer and use it properly. Wisdom is to try hard and give up when it is too much for you. Wisdom is to be what you are and not what you think or others think you are. Wisdom is to give up the idea “I am wise”.

School is a place where we use our intelligence to learn things – collect knowledge. But we also learn to act sincerely when people we like act sincerely. We naturally do what the ones we like do. When your best friends are brave, you try to be brave, too. When your best friends smoke cigarettes, you also want to smoke. But when your best friends show some wisdom, you naturally do the same thing. We all learn from each other – both good and bad things. But we can also choose who our role model will be and who will not.

There is a lot of pretence among people. There are a lot of arrogant people who act as if they were the only important people in the world, but when you end up in a ditch asking for help, they will pretend they can’t see you. We cannot rely on people who only pretend things. We are lucky when we can meet and learn from sincere people. But even if everyone around us is just great, none of these people can do what only we can do and be what we should be and do what we should do. People can help us a lot, but it is up to us how we use our life. If you can get something from others and use it positively, then great. If you don’t get what you need and what you need is necessary, if you feel it is absolutely necessary, keep looking for it until you find it. If you think someone cheats or is not good enough, imagine how lousy life such a person has. It must be hard to be a liar or a mad person or someone who abuses others. It is not necessary to run from such people. You can learn from them, too, because they provide something that is true part of the world and it is something we should study and try to learn what causes such unfortunate lives. We should observe how others act and try to understand why they act like that. Not only does such observation calm our anger, it also helps us understand others and the world. If you think someone is wise, learn from them how to do the same thing – how to act wisely. Try to find out what is the most important thing in the world. Don’t get satisfaction from cheap phrases or clichés. Don’t believe these words unless you feel they are based on someone’s real experience – not fantasy or hatred. For example Hitler’s words were always based on his fantasy about the perfect world led by the perfect nation. And also based on his hatred towards Jews. Words can lead to wars and pain, some words can lead to peace and happiness. But our actions are even more important. Most people cannot speak to nations – but we can speak to the ones we work or live with. Anyway, our words are not as important as our behavior. The most important things are beyond words.

Look around – most problems in the world are caused by people who lack wisdom, people full of hatred, people who cheat, people who pretend and people who are greedy. They are everywhere around and their actions cause a lot of suffering. They are in us, too. There is potential in each of us, you, me, her, to go mad, hate, be greedy, kill, replace wisdom with stupidity.

The most important thing is to learn how to live a life that is based on purity. Our life will never be completely pure, there will always be mistakes and problems. But to give our life some meaning, wisdom, love, we have to go back to this original purity in our hearts and make use of it over and over again. I can see the original, essential purity of my students in their eyes every day. Some students are subtly aware of their own purity and it makes them happy. They don’t call it “purity”, but they feel something pure inside and outside and smile. Some people have lost this purity somewhere in distant corners of their hearts. They seem unhappy or depressed or full of hatred, but it is just that they don’t know where the purity is or they don’t believe there is any. All people in the world, no matter how evil or stupid, are originally good. There may be just a tiny little drop of goodness in their heart, but there is some. No matter if we are religious or not, scientists or artists, factory workers or politicians, when we cultivate this original purity, it brings to others and us a lot of peace and joy.

What happens in an English lesson or history lesson – academically - is secondary. The primary thing is that something important, something beyond knowledge and intelligence is going on all the time. You may like or dislike a lesson, a teacher, a classmate… but the most important thing is how you make best use of such a situation, how much wisdom you express when something is not the way you would like it to be. Sometimes it is necessary to be very critical. If we are never critical, although we firmly believe something is wrong, we may lose an opportunity to help the world. But it is easy to criticize, there is inflation of criticism in the world. We should be careful and consider things carefully and wisely, sincerely, before we criticize others. We should make a lot of observation and learn a lot before we seriously criticize something or someone.

Our life is precious and can mean a lot to others and we usually mean a lot to others. We should be aware of this all the time. Every single gesture, every word, every smile means something. Everything we do shows what we are and how we relate to the world. Sooner or later your true character will be revealed – there will be hard moments in your life when your character will undergo a test - so work on your character before it is too late!

These are things I have been studying and thinking about for several years. And teaching my students – although it is English what I teach – gives me the opportunity to test these things.

What use is a philosophy if it does not work in real life? I don’t have to ask my students if it works or not – your actions, your behavior, your attitude, your silence or smile, your words, your decisions and your feelings have proved that this philosophy is based on something very real.

Uchiyama Roshi's Explanation of Enlightenment

Uchiyama Roshi was a student of Kodo Sawaki, who was a no-nonsense, strict, homeless, poor monk who spent his life practicing zazen, studying Buddhism and teaching Buddhism. Uchiyama Roshi was a bit different from his master. On the other day Uchiyama Roshi asked Kodo Sawaki how long it would take him to be as strong as his master. Kodo Sawaki replied that zazen didn't make him this strong. He had always been strong, ever since his childhood years. So he didn't expect Uchiyama to become like him; instead he taught that everyone has to find his or her own nature. I would like to share master Uchiyama's explanation of zazen and enlightenment with my readers. What follows is an excerpt from the book The Wholehearted Way written by Uchiyama Roshi.

"In the true zazen enlightenment is not good. Delusion is not bad. We should look equally at both enlightenment and delusion. Our sitting should be like this. This zazen has no comparison with zazen based on the desire to get satori and feel good, a kind of personal, psychological condition.

Dogen Zenji said that to sit in such a way is the true way of enlightenment; such zazen itself is enlightenment. Zazen is not a means to gradually attain enlightenment. We sit zazen, which is dropping off body and mind right now, right here. Practice and enlightenment are not something different. We should not separate practice and enlightenment into two. Since zazen is itself enligtenment, there is no way to think that I become enlightened as a result of zazen practice. To sit zazen is to be in the profound sleep of enlightenment. Therefore, to think that I am enlightened is the same as to think that I sleep well within sound sleep. This is sham sleep. When we sleep really well, we cannot think that we sleep well. In the same way, in zazen, we cannot see if we are are enlightened or not. Sometimes we feel clear in zazen, sometimes not; certainly we don't feel clear more often than not. In either condition, zazen is zazen. We sit right in that place where we can look at both enlightenment and delusion equally."

What can I add? To me, I have no desire to change my zazen into something else. The way I feel when I practice zazen, no matter what I feel like, clear or not, is still zazen and that is what matters most to me. As long as I can practice zazen in the present moment, I am completely satisfied with my delusion-enlightenment situation.

Gaku Do Yo Jin Shu / part one

I decided to delete this part of Gakudo Yo Jin Shu, and the explanation is in the next post.


you can still read my comments, though

She said: Do something.

My girfriend survived a terrible collision when skiing in Austria. We were on our sunny, blue sky, crispy snow skiing holidays near Salzburg when this thing happened. I learned a lot from it and feel very happy the consequences are basically nothing compared to the horror of the sight. We were practicing some carving turns with Jitka, my girlfriend on a piste where we were almost alone. I was watching Jitka from the other side of the piste. Before she started her turn somewhere in the middle of the slope's length she checked there was nobody coming from above and set off. When she was about half way through the turn, I spotted this dark rocket of a girl running at about 50 kph straight into Jitka's turning area. It took about two seconds before the two girls collided, body hitting body and screaming flew about 15 meters before falling down. Within the two seconds between I spotted the fast running girl and the crash, it occured to me: This can't be true, they are not going to collide, there is so much room for the girl to avoid Jitka. But before I could really think, maybe I yelled something but then the crash happened. It happened much quicker than a snap of fingers. I got to Jitka who was lying on her belly not moving and asked in a terrified voice: What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? And she said: I don't know. DO something. DO something.

I had never before felt so useless. I knew I could not undone what had happened. And I knew I could not make Jitka healthy right there. I knew we could only wait and that she should not move. I said: I am not going to do anything. We are waiting for the paramedics. Don't move, don't move. Don't worry, the help is on their way.

And Jitka said and I thought she was going nuts, but later it turned out she was thinking clearly, she said: "We should have gone to lunch instead." About 5 minutes before the accident I suggested going for a lunch in a restaurant at the piste but Jitka wanted to ski some more. So that is what she meant.

The other girl was sitting there above Jitka bleeding from her nose and sobbing a bit. Paramedics arrived in 5 minutes or so, carefully checked both girls, carefully put Jitka on a stretcher and we skied with the stretcher to the road that was next to the piste and waited for the ambulance. I talked to Jitka a bit, she had problems breathing and felt pain all over her body, legs, arms, shoulders, chest, back... We thought some of her bones were broken and she - as it turned out later - suffered a mild concussion. She was wearing a helmet, but the ten year old girl hit her into her goggles rather than the helmet. We drove in the ambulance to the nearest town where a doctor could not say much without x rays and other stuff and sent Jitka to the nearest hospital that collects all kinds of ski accident patients from the area. So it took about 4 hours between the accident and the final x ray pictures and other checks before at last we found out to my huge relief that Jitka got away with bruises and mild concussion. This result compared to the picture of the crash that was replaying in my head for another day or so over and over again seemed fantastic. The other girl's mother took her daughter to Salzburg where they lived. Later she called and asked about Jitka and said her daughter only had bruised chest. She was hurt mentally though, crying all the time as she felt bad having skied so fast and hit Jitka so hard.

Jitka stayed in the hospital for two days to make sure nothing worse happens. I spent one day driving around the local towns and police stations and Red Cross to arrange formalities. It was a day of intense German practice for me. I only speak simple German but when things are necessary to be done, grammatical mistakes don't matter.
Jitka is back at home and slowly recovering.

How does the whole thing relates to Buddhism. It is all Buddhism. In Buddhism, actual, real life is what matters much more than opinions. Actions are more important than opinions or how clever you are. When Jitka said to me: Do something, it was the greatest Buddhist teaching you can ever get. She was not interested in my ideas or feelings at that critical moment. Do something was all that was necessary to do. And ironically, the best thing to do was to do nothing but be there, making sure Jitka does not do something either, waiting for the professional help. But the rest of the day, all people involved, the skiing paramedics, the ambulance driver, the local doctor, the hospital staff, the x ray staff, the janitors in the hospital, the administration, it was all DO SOMETHING, it was all pure Buddhism.

That was an accident that looked terrible and might have ended up as a tragedy. That was an accident that provided loads of Buddhist lessons in one day. That was an accident that made me a simpleton without much interest in intellectual matters for a day or so. It made me cry as I couldn't help but recollect the picture of the two girls crashing and flying through the air. It could have been much worse. If I believed in personal God, I would say God gave us a wonderful gift - a gift of life, love, caring, fun, sun, blue skies, laughter. As a Buddhist, I feel there is an immense gift in the present so positive as it is now for me and Jitka, so much luck. But it applies to everyone, everyone in the world, when things are going more or less okay, is given this immense gift of joy.

I bow to all people who DO something beyond their limited opinions, who work hard to help those who need help, who provide what is necessary to survive in the modern world. Beyond our opinions and feelings, there is immense love. We cannot see it or touch it as it is everywhere. We can do something for others and help them, not because we love them, although we often do, but because we are, essentially, love itself and our sincere actions express this original love.

Bull's Eye - My Take

Brad Warner has posted a new thing called Bulls' Eye at his blog. Please go and read it so that I don't have to repeat the story. If you have already read it, then let me comment on the situation a bit.

Firstly, I am grateful to Brad that he has written the article. It is a very important principle of Buddhism. Brad has written things that I cannot rewrite or write better or add anything. But this article about Bull's Eye is something I have decided to explain in my own way, without trying to disagree with Brad. I agree with Brad. I just have a few words, my own take on the problem. So here we go.

It seems that the main task in Buddhism lies in learning to live precisely, perfectly, wisely and concentrating all the time. Especially zen is popular as something about perfect shooting, perfect cooking, perfect eating, perfect talking, perfect sleeping... There are loads of books about masters who were supposed to live like that. Such masters have had crowds of followers and admirers. But Buddhism is not exactly about that kind of perfect life.

When you drop a bowl at a Buddhist retreat, you may feel ashamed of your insufficient concentration. When you spill some soup, you may see the evidence you are still thousands miles away from "Zen". When the master spills soup, it is just an evidence that he or she - in all their perfectness - must show something a bit ordinary from time to time to encourage their students. But this notion about imperfect students and perfect masters who only make mistakes to entertain their students, is not Buddhism.

Of course, we have some Buddhists ideals and they are important. Without these ideals, we would have no idea where to go, what to do as Buddhists. WIthout ideals, we would keep walking around in circles or follow some devils. We need some ideals. But we should not stick to them. Kodo Sawaki taught: "Do yo want satori? Wake up? Just put the bowl on the table properly." So we can see he stressed the way we do things, we should do things carefully, wholeheartedly. We should act kindly towards others and towards things, too. There is no reason to smash things, drop everything on the floor, yell at others. At times it is necessary to yell - but that is a specific situation. In general, there is no reason to yell and there is no reason to throw things around. So how can we explain that a master of archery missed a target and exclaimed: Bull's Eye?


The thing is our effort in every moment is more important that results of this effort. Effort in this moment is something real, it is our life, while results are future or past, they are images in our head. We imagine results such as "enlightenment" or "complete understanding" or "master". We cannot totally deny such results. My teacher Mike Luetchford's understanding of and living Buddhism is a result of his long term efforts to study and practice Buddhism. There is no reason to deny that. But to achieve something in the past or future is not exactly the point of Buddhism - we notice the results, acknowledge the results and we carry on. Mike has no reason to stick to his results and we have no reason to stick to his results and I have no reason to stick to my results or failures.

When we practice zazen, it is already satori, because in this moment we are doing something wholeheartedly the same way Buddha did it. We realize something that is realized only in this moment. So that is why it doesn't matter whether there are some effects of zazen or not, although we cannot completely deny the effects of zazen. Zazen is not something that is an effort of a beginner at the beginning, then skills of an advanced student in the middle and at the end enlightenment of a master. In fact, zazen at the beginning is enlightenment of a master and at the end it, after fifty years of zazen, it is an effort of a beginner. It is always a beginner's efforts and at the same time Buddha's enlightenment. So when we grab a bowl, we try to do it properly as a beginner and at the same time we actually act like a wise, mature master. When the bowl drops, it is a mistake, but it is a mistake of someone who in this moment - acting wholeheartedly in this moment - is not different from Buddha.

So there is no reason to turn back and lament over past mistakes. When we drop a bowl or miss the target, it is not only a mistake, but also a victory. We have to try, make efforts, treat people properly and treat things properly and when we aim, we should do our best. That is our nature. But when the arrow has flown over the target, it is a great moment of our life. It is a moment worth celebrations, as if we hit the bull's eye. Every moment of our life is hitting the bull's eye.


This blog is far less popular than Brad's blog. I don't know how many people read this but that is not the point. My fellow Zen student Pavel Fencl and I organize days of zazen in the Czech Republic. Almost nobody shows up. Mostly nobody else shows up. It all looks like a lot of failure. But that is not the point. At least not the point in Buddhism. In Buddhism we don't do things to achieve something. We just do things. We appreciate success or abilities of others, but that is not our business. We appreciate wisdom of others, we are grateful for authentic Buddhist teachers, but that is not our business. We have to be ourselves, not them. This unsuccessful Sunday afternoon is all that matters. It is the best thing that could ever happen to you or me. Let's do something wholeheartedly today and let's not worry about what kind of results it may lead to. Let's do something wholeheartedly over and over again no matter what will happen in the future. When we are completely ourselves in this moment, we have won the game of life.

Ikkyu's poems

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First, I’d like to introduce Ikkyu, my favorite poet, using some information found at wikipedia. Then I will present some of his poems and comment on them.

Ikkyu was born in 1394 in a small suburb of Kyoto. He was the illegitimate son of Emperor Go-Komatsu. His mother was forced to flee to Saga, Japan, where Ikkyu was raised by servants. At age five Ikkyu was separated from his mother and enrolled as a monk at the Rinzai Zen temple, Ankokuji. He was given the name Shuken, and learned about Chinese poetry, art and literature. In 1420 Ikkyu was meditating in a boat on Lake Biwa when the sound of a crow sparked his understanding of the truth. His teacher confirmed this and granted Ikkyu dharma transmission. *

Ikkyu could sometimes be a troublemaker. Known to drink in excess, he would often upset others with provoking remarks. After the death of his teacher, he was unable to tolerate the pretentious head of the temple, and left the place to live many years as a wandering monk. Around this time, he established a relationship with a blind singer Mori who became the love of his later life.

Ikkyu lived his Buddhist life outside of formal religious institutions. However, a war had reduced Daitokuji to ashes, and Ikkyu was elected abbot late in life, a role he reluctantly took on. In 1481, Ikkyu died at the age of eighty-eight.

I think Ikkyu was interested in a real life, not a life of holy people. Maybe I would never begin to study and practice Zen if it wasn’t for Ikkyu’s punk, unorthodox Zen poetry. Before I really started to practice Buddhism, I was afraid that I would be mislead by some religious fanatics. But when I read that “stone Buddha deserves birdshit” among other things, paradoxically written by a Buddhist teacher, I decided to find out what Buddhism really is about. Thanks to Ikkyu’s sincere, penetrating, disturbing verses, I had already been hooked anyway. So I am very grateful to Ikkyu’s efforts as a monk, lover, teacher and poet.



* Ikkyu was a monk in Rinzai tradition, where some breakthrough experience seems to be the most important thing, but Ikkyu himself was critical of such exaggeration – he burned his “enlightenment confirmation paper” to stress that there is something more important than papers and memories – our real life in the present moment.




only a kind deadly sincere man
can show you the way here in the other world


Ikkyu stresses the importance of an authentic teacher in Buddhism. We could explain the poem like this: If you are really interested in Buddhism, in the real world that most people don’t know, if you are interested in “the other shore”, which is the truth here and now completely experienced by a human being, then you need someone who is familiar with the truth and who will lovingly and carefully let you know whenever you lose your way in silly ideas about what the truth is. Only such a person can guide you on your way to a realistic, complete life.




I am in it everywhere
what a miracle trees lakes clouds even dust


I am in “it” everywhere. Ikkyu talks about the truth that is everywhere, yet most people look for it in very exotic places or very special experiences. Ikkyu enjoys living in the truth and marvels at trees, lakes and clouds, which are all examples of the truth, of something that master Dogen called “the non-emotional that preaches the Dharma”. What’s more, Ikkyu realizes that even something so ordinary as dust is also “the non-emotional that preaches the Dharma”, in other words, even dust teaches us what the truth is.




I’d love to give you something
but what would help?


Ikkyu expresses his caring about other human beings, but when it comes to Buddhism, what can we give to others? Teaching Buddhism is tricky. It is like selling water to a person who lives next to a well. Although we are in the midst of the truth, we are searching for it. We desperately want to find something special, we want to attain enlightenment. Ikkyu is standing in front of us, knowing that we don’t need anything, except maybe one thing – directions to the truth. Although we are basically there, without sincere practice of zazen and an honest teacher, we will hardly ever understand what treasure we have already got.




nobody told the flowers to come up nobody
will ask them to leave when spring’s gone


People tend to replace reality with words. This is a table. This is not a table. We like to talk, talk and talk. And some people would like to replace Buddhism with words. But the most amazing things in the universe happen without having to be explained or described by words. The most intimate experience of a human being, life here and now, is beyond words. That is why we don’t talk when we practice zazen and that is why Buddha only turned a flower in his hand instead of talking on Vulture Peak and that is why Mahakasyapa only smiled.




that stone Buddha deserves all the birdshit it gets
I wave my skinny arms like a tall flower in the wind


Stone Buddha is nothing but a symbol. Some people confuse Buddhism with idolatry.
Although there is no need to put down Buddha statues like Taliban did in Afghanistan, which was an act of hatred and discrimination and fear, Ikkyu expresses his concern about true, living Buddhism that some people want to wrap up in golden paper and put into a museum. Buddha statues are ok and when they are standing outdoors, they deal with birdshit. True Buddhism is more than statues and idolatry. It is waving our arms playfully finding Buddha’s teaching right here in this simple moment when we are enjoying ourselves.




hear the cruel no-answer until blood drips down
beat your head against the wall of it


Some people believe everything, including reality, can be explained, so they look for answers in books. As soon as they read all interesting books on Buddhism, they believe they know all about Buddhism. Although everything can be explained about Buddhism, there is something that has to be experienced. Explanation is not enough. That is why a teacher’s experience cannot replace the student’s experience. Although a teacher may answer all the student’s question, there is still something remaining that we feel has not been answered. It is not something mysterious or secret. The truth is something very clear. It is actually the clearest thing we can ever encounter. But this clearest thing cannot be replaced by words. The truth of Buddhism lies in life itself, our experience here and now itself. If you want to hear the ultimate answer expressed in words, you will have to bang your head against the wall for ages and still will never get the answer. Ikkyu is not disappointed. But he also warns himself and others that ultimate knowing is not knowing something intellectually. It is acting in the present and experiencing things as they are.




even before trees rocks I was nothing
when I’m dead nowhere I’ll be nothing


Like Dogen, Ikkyu does not believe in reincarnation. To him, life before this one is nothing and life after his death is nothing at all, too. To him, only things happening now are real.




all the bad things I do will go up in smoke
and so will I


Buddhist life consists of many mistakes. There is some desire, some anger, and although hardly anyone will consider it a mistake, sadness is part of a Buddhist’ life, too. That is all true life. Buddhists cannot escape their own innate imperfectness and so make a lot of mistakes. But Ikkyu is aware of the vast space that digests all bad things and purifies itself all the time. The universe itself is neither good nor bad. Living a Buddhist life we naturally try to live appropriately and in harmony with the society. But sometimes we simply fail. Sometimes we are criticized by others. Anyway, everything changes and one day we will have to die. One day, maybe in millions of years from now, all the mistakes we made will not matter any more.




if there’s nowhere to rest at the end
how can I get lost on the way?


Ikkyu does not believe in an ultimate goal in Buddhism - something we are trying to attain and once we get there, we can rest forever and nothing will bother us any more. He does not believe in a kind of enlightenment that is the end of a Buddhist’s efforts. He believes in the truth that is encountered in this moment. If there is no goal or somewhere to go, how could we get lost? Ultimately, we cannot lose the realm of the truth. But while we are right where we should be, we may believe that we are somewhere else. A teacher can help us see where we really are.




fuck flattery success money
all I do is lie back suck my thumb


People make a lot of fuss about sex, success, money and power. They are often completely lost in the fantastic world of sex, success and money. Instead of drinking tea, they drink money. Instead of seeing trees, they see numbers. Instead of walking, they think they are great or special. They are happy when somebody tells them: Congratulations! Ikkyu prefers doing something simple and true, being himself, naked and present completely: lying back and sucking his thumb.




so many words about it
the only language is you don’t open your lips


There are tons of books about Buddhism. Some of them are great and it is very helpful to study them. Shobogenzo by master Dogen is such a great book. It explains the whole of Buddhism. But studying and understanding is only 50%. Sitting down and practicing zazen without talking is the only way how to experience fully – with both body and mind - what Buddhism is.


If you want to read other poems by Ikkyu, maybe the nicest book - and the one I fell in love with when I began to think about becoming a Buddhist - is Crow with no Mouth - a collection translated by Stephen Berg, who did a fantastic job, I think. The poems above are just from that book.

Expressing Our True Self through Everyday Life Actions

This text is inspired by roshi Nishijima's (Kodo Sawaki's disciple) explanation of Dogen's philosophy. Until I found out about roshi Nishijima's teaching, it was difficult to read Dogen to me. I mostly understood only modern Zen masters explaining Dogen. ANyway, I hope the text is not just useless imitation of real Zen masters' teaching, but something based on my own experience, as well.

Most people are interested in materialistic matters. They want to eat, drink, sleep, want money or sex, then they have to buy a coffin, etc. This is the materialistic aspect of our lives. Of course, to reduce life to this level has nothing to do with wisdom or compassion.

Some people notice that life is not only materialistic and they look for wisdom, love, heaven, God. Some people start religions, create Gods, then the Gods create people who created Gods and other interesting things happen according to their religions. These people talk about hope, heaven or enlightenment, satori and how to attain it. They sometimes do nothing else than sit on the ground, without eating, drinking, and just pursue their idealistic goals. So this is the idealistic aspect of our life. To reduce our life to idealism, only to seek nirvana, heaven, higher level, ignoring the materialistic aspect, is not very wise after all...

So when people occasionally find out that idealism only leads to dreamlike living ignoring the basic needs of our body, they may look for a true teacher - someone who can solve the dualistic issue or dispute over materialism versus idealism. Some teachers hit people with a stick or they shout something. When we ask about enlightenment, they shout or hit us, when we ask about wisdom, they shout or hit us.

What is all this shouting and hitting about? It’s called action. A sudden action cuts away our idealistic thinking. It's a wake up call. Now, not all Zen masters use shouts and hits. Soto masters say, “Just sit”. But they don't want us to sit only to continue our idealistic mental party. So they say, “Just sit and concentrate on the present moment. Check your posture”. Like that Zen masters of this tradition help us cut off our idealistic way of thinking by making us concentrate on the present moment. Rather than shouting and hitting things, they recommend pursuing our everyday tasks with clear, simple mind.

They teach us to follow an ordinary daily regime, including zazen practice, so that we return to our normal, essential self. When you wake up practicing zazen in the present, you see through the mad cloud of your mind that you called “me” just a while ago and now you can be your true self again. Buddha is just a word. Satori is yet another word. It is everyday life that really matters. So zazen is not something special that is separate from our everyday life. Zazen is the basis of our everyday life, like a spine – it holds our everyday life together. But zazen is also one of the things we do. Another ordinary thing we do over and over again.

I’d like to say something more about action because it is action that wakes up our true self over and over again. For example - we have to eat - eating, no matter if we are materialists or idealists, we experience eating. So action can trigger our own experience of our true self - IF and only IF we forget both sides – materialism and idealism and JUST eat. Most people imagine something loud and quick, when they hear the word “action”. But every moment of our ordinary life is something enormous – as this place has really no limits - and incredibly quick, so every moment of our ordinary life is an extremely important action we have to take. So action is a tool that helps us wake up. But it is also awakening itself. Buddha Way means that a tool is not different from the aim. People usually do things in order to get something. Most Buddhists believe that certain kind of practice leads to enlightenment. But if we reach under the superficial understanding of Buddha’s teaching and reach the essence of Buddha’s teaching, we find out, that the wisdom that we have been looking for with such determination, is not so far away. We can find out that our very mind here and now is not different from the ultimate wisdom. In other words, our very mind here and now is basically the only source of wisdom we can ever find. But wisdom, according to Buddha Way, is not something to be looked for. It is something to be expressed here and now. So instead of looking for enlightenment, we express enlightenment through the most ordinary things we do every day. As there is nothing special outside our everyday experience, it is not necessary to practice in order to find something essential or understand something essential. If we truly believe in Buddha Way, we have no doubt that we are no separate from Buddha Way. So we practice only to practice, we eat only to eat, we drink only to drink and we sleep only to sleep. People who practice zazen to attain enlightenment are fooled, while people who practice zazen only to practice zazen are Buddhas. But it is important that this Buddha Way is expressed not only in zazen, but also in everything we do. There is no idealistic hunger for satori, nor materialistic hunger for luxury or abundance of sex. No worries about being rich or poor in the future, no worries about being stupid or enlightened in the future. Here and now there is no fear and no frustration.

There is a famous koan or we might also call it a conversation between Joshu and his disciple.

The disciple asks: What is the deepest truth?

Joshu replies: Have you had breakfast?

Joshu draws his disciple's idealistic mind to the every day reality. Somebody could object that Joshu's philosophy is completely materialistic. Isn't food a materialistic matter, after all? But Joshu doesn't stress the importance of every day life to reduce the every day life to materialistic matters. He doesn't want his disciple to ignore matters of wisdom and compassion. Instead he wants his disciple to express wisdom and compassion right away through his everyday activity. So Joshu is teaching us that through action here and now we cut off dualistic thinking, cut through the dilema of materialism versus idealism and become one with reality here and now.

Of course, action is not enough. There are millions of very active people in the world who have no idea what they are or what reality is. They make phone calls, play golf, go surfing, do business, work in factories, banks, drive cars, shoot, talk, yell, push buttons, and yet are not able to solve the ever-present problem of human beings - what are we doing here, why and how come we make each other so desperate so often? We could say that Buddhist attitude to this problem, to the problem of suffering and happiness, ignorance and wisdom, is represented exactly in Joshu's answer: Have you had breakfast yet?

In the world of ignorant people who only care about results and profits, Joshu's comment is nothing than a practical, materialistic remark. But in the context with his student's idealistic views, Joshu's answer is cutting through the madness of human mind. He is aware of sincere effort of his disciple and has no doubt that he didn't come to him to make money or become a fat guy. So he tells him to care about ordinary matters. When a sincere person who cares about well being of others eats breakfast, such a person expresses wisdom and compassion and fulfills the ideal of Buddha's teaching.