A few years ago I went to the country with my girlfriend. We stayed in a kind of shabby chalet and in the morning I went to the corner and practiced zazen while everyone else was having breakfast outdoors. I heard someone asked my girlfriend what I was doing. She said I was practicing Buddhist meditation. The guy asked her if it helped me. She said: "No." At that time I was a bit angry. I wanted people to think that thanks to my Buddhist practice I was a better person. How come she said it made no difference? But now I know she was right. That Buddhist meditation hadn't helped me at all. I was the same stupid and weak person, no matter how often or regularly I practiced. And she knew. But today I know another thing. Buddhist practice should not help us. It should leave us alone. So if someone says today that Buddhist practice hasn't made me a better person, I will smile. There is something more important than one person becoming better or more peaceful. I'll try to explain this problem in this article now.
We could understand Buddhism as two different things. Actually, those are very different things. If I say one of them is true Buddhism and the other is false, you will probably frown. Especially if I also say that in true Buddhism there is no room for Buddhism. Some time ago we asked our teacher if Buddhism had helped him to solve his problems, or something like that. And he gave a talk saying that Buddhism never helped him solve his problems. A lot of people hope that Buddhism - reading Buddhist books or practicing some kind of meditation will make their lives easier. They find some kind of wisdom in Buddhist philosophy and some peace in Buddhist meditation. But that is not what is really called Buddhism. That is some kind of personal help or some kind of talk or inspiration. Something very limited. Even if you read the most profound Buddhist books and only take some kind of wisdom from such books, it wasn't really learning much about Buddhism. If you practice zazen and get some peace and then feel good, feeling I got some peace, that wasn't practicing zazen, that was some kind of peaceful meditation. But if you sincerely practice and do not seek personal help and then feel peaceful, of course, why not. But that result is not why we practice Buddhism. Anyway, from time to time we need some kind of help or entertainment, but that is not the true purpose of Buddhist practice and study. The true purpose of Buddhist practice and study is to say good-bye to limiting views and understanding - ultimately, of course, only ultimately. We need all kinds of views and understanding in this modern world, but in true Buddhism there is no room for limited views or limited understanding. There are different points of views used to explain Buddhism but these are only temporary aids, not the final meaning of Buddhism.
We could say that there are two ways to understand Buddhism. Again, one is quite limited and the other one is unlimited and liberating. One could be compared to approaching the door. And the other is opening the door. I think most people will agree that coming closer to the door and opening the door are two different things. Most people study or read about Buddhism as if it was a door that should not be opened. They come up to it and want to be inspired or get some peace. But our ancestors, buddhas and patriarchs, master Dogen and such, they came to the door and opened it. We don't have to do that, but I am afraid, that's the only way to fully discover what Buddha meant by Dharma. Or what he meant by the truth.
There is another way to explain the two different attitudes to Buddhism. One is half-baked and the other is complete. You are either interested in Buddhism as something that may help you become a better person, maybe wiser, or closer to enlightenment, or kinder to others, or you are interested in Buddhism as something which is not limited by you, your conditions and Buddhism itself. There is no room for Buddha in Buddha. There is no room for wisdom in Buddhism. There is no room for enlightenment in Buddhism. There is no room for enlightenment in enlightenment. There is no room for wisdom in true wisdom. In other words, even if we have attained enlightenment, we have to give it up, otherwise it becomes complete delusion. Even if we have encountered the truth, we have to give it up, as there is no room for a concept of truth or glimpse of truth in the truth. So myself, I can tell you all about my limits, weaknesses, delusions, but I cannot say anything about wisdom or truth or enlightenment. I have no idea what those things are. But reality itself knows and I have confidence in reality. The truth knows itself. The universe knows itself. Buddha knows Buddha. But that kind of Buddha doesn't mean anything specific by Buddha. If there is some kind of conclusion in Buddhism, some kind of teaching, it is let go of everything - you, others, buddhas... If you, as a limited person, let go of things and ideas and say: "I have let go of things and ideas", then how about the others? For many years I thought it was important that I understand Buddhism and I know the truth, but how about others? Now I am interested in the possibility of human beings in general, not just me, to understand or experience the truth. You or me. Anyone. I'd like to know if we can do it and how to do it. And as I have confidence in the practice of zazen and Buddhist teaching, I can see a way. I am very happy as I can see we can do it. Whether I am wise or compassionate, that is not so important, but can we practice and experience what Buddha practiced and experienced? Not me, but can we? I have tried for many years, so now I want to see if others can do it, too. Not that I know and the others don't. I want to see what we, as human beings, can do in the field of Buddhism. And I am sure we can open the door completely. It has been done in the past, it is being done now and it will be done in the future.
Ultimately, there is no room for our limited self in Buddhism. In our real life, there is plenty of room for delusions and ideas and concepts and mistakes. But in Buddhism there is no room for something limited. You let go and you let go of letting go. You let go of wisdom, you let go of Buddhas and Buddhist philosophy. Then you can spot a beautiful thing in the grass or in the street and say Wow. Now I understand my teacher's freedom to be himself and make mistakes and have likes and dislikes. He has let go of Buddhism. Doing so he hasn't tainted it. At the same time, he can practice Buddhism and tell us about Buddhism, tell us about true Buddhism, which is not something limited. He can tell us about the door. Once you open the door, let go of the handle. Forget the door. But people will ask you over and over again - where is the door? And I ask myself over and over again: "Where is the wisdom of buddhas?" And when I am not completely lost and dark, I can answer to myself: "It has disappeared. But there is some fruit in the kitchen, if you are hungry. There is some water if you are thirsty."
June 22, 2015
April 5, 2015
Branches Cracking in the Woods
There are basically four ways to misunderstand Buddhism. Master Dogen mentions all of them in Shobogenzo.
The first is called naturalism. If we believe that we are buddha no matter if we practice the Way, no matter if we attain the truth, no matter if we learn Buddhism from an authentic teacher, this is called naturalism. It is a very superficial, very silly understanding of Buddha's truth. So it is definitely not understanding Buddha's truth. Even if we ask: Who is not a buddha? And even if we cannot find a single person or single thing, which is not a buddha, still it is not Buddha's teaching to conclude that everyone is a buddha, so the whole of Buddhism is useless or that practice is not necessary. Of course, everyone and each thing is a buddha, but what does it mean?
The second misunderstanding is the belief that every person possesses some kind of bright, spiritual intelligence which is different from the form of our existence. Even these days some people believe that we have some kind of hidden spiritual essence that we can discover and then show it to others. But true Buddhism says that this very body and mind, this ordinary person and their everyday actions show our Buddha nature completely and nothing is hidden. Moreover, our true self is not something hidden, or separated - it is not limited by mind, by body or by the world outside. It is just our everyday life and winter leaving and spring coming. It is really something amazing, but it is amazing because it is independent on limited ideas of people. Just like mountains get along with storms and snow, the universe doesn't fight a true self, nor does it give a person their true self. As we cannot point to the universe itself, we cannot point to one's true self. Still, this doesn't mean that there is no universe or no true self.
The third misunderstanding is the belief that the goal of our Buddhist efforts is to attain some kind of great personality and then show to others how great we are. The others will see that we are better than others and will want to learn from us how to become such a great person. In fact, we practice the Way despite having been a buddha ever since the beginning of the universe and despite getting more or less what we have always had. So even if there is no profit or gain in practicing the Way, we can notice all our Buddhist ancestors practiced and studied the Way as if it was the most important thing ever. Just like storms make noise as if storms were the most important thing ever, just like rabbits fight in the fields as if only rabbit fights mattered, just like flowers bloom in the spring as if only flowers could change the universe, buddhas practice the Way without thinking about their past or future, and they practice and study the Way as if nothing else was important. To practice the Way without comparing it to other ways or secular values is just like a branch cracking in the woods. It doesn't think it should crack, it doesn't think it shouldn't crack. It doesn't think cracking is empty and it doesn't think cracking is loud. It doesn't think there is some kind of spiritual essence to cracking. It doesn't crack to become a buddha. It just cracks.
The fourth misunderstanding is to make Buddhist practice and philosophy something stuck and solid, like a bar of soap in the bathroom. We should not discard Buddhist practice and philosophy, but we should not make it something solid and rigid, like a bar of soap. We should freely give bars of soap and accept bars of soap. We should let practice come and go. I don't mean practice zazen three times a year, I mean practice zazen when it is our habit to practice, and it should be every day, and stop practicing zazen, when it is our habit to stop and go to bed or begin eating. We should let Buddhist ideas and values come and go. If we stick to practice and make it a very important part of our lives, it becomes something separate and loses its original value. If we make Buddhist philosophy a special thing and we think about it all the time, it loses its original meaning and becomes rigid, so it cannot help anybody. To transcend buddhas, to let go of buddhas, to let buddhas come and go, to forget buddhas and witness cracking branches, that is the way of those who have transcended Buddhism and buddhas, while practicing zazen regularly and bowing with others and eating with others over and over again.
The first is called naturalism. If we believe that we are buddha no matter if we practice the Way, no matter if we attain the truth, no matter if we learn Buddhism from an authentic teacher, this is called naturalism. It is a very superficial, very silly understanding of Buddha's truth. So it is definitely not understanding Buddha's truth. Even if we ask: Who is not a buddha? And even if we cannot find a single person or single thing, which is not a buddha, still it is not Buddha's teaching to conclude that everyone is a buddha, so the whole of Buddhism is useless or that practice is not necessary. Of course, everyone and each thing is a buddha, but what does it mean?
The second misunderstanding is the belief that every person possesses some kind of bright, spiritual intelligence which is different from the form of our existence. Even these days some people believe that we have some kind of hidden spiritual essence that we can discover and then show it to others. But true Buddhism says that this very body and mind, this ordinary person and their everyday actions show our Buddha nature completely and nothing is hidden. Moreover, our true self is not something hidden, or separated - it is not limited by mind, by body or by the world outside. It is just our everyday life and winter leaving and spring coming. It is really something amazing, but it is amazing because it is independent on limited ideas of people. Just like mountains get along with storms and snow, the universe doesn't fight a true self, nor does it give a person their true self. As we cannot point to the universe itself, we cannot point to one's true self. Still, this doesn't mean that there is no universe or no true self.
The third misunderstanding is the belief that the goal of our Buddhist efforts is to attain some kind of great personality and then show to others how great we are. The others will see that we are better than others and will want to learn from us how to become such a great person. In fact, we practice the Way despite having been a buddha ever since the beginning of the universe and despite getting more or less what we have always had. So even if there is no profit or gain in practicing the Way, we can notice all our Buddhist ancestors practiced and studied the Way as if it was the most important thing ever. Just like storms make noise as if storms were the most important thing ever, just like rabbits fight in the fields as if only rabbit fights mattered, just like flowers bloom in the spring as if only flowers could change the universe, buddhas practice the Way without thinking about their past or future, and they practice and study the Way as if nothing else was important. To practice the Way without comparing it to other ways or secular values is just like a branch cracking in the woods. It doesn't think it should crack, it doesn't think it shouldn't crack. It doesn't think cracking is empty and it doesn't think cracking is loud. It doesn't think there is some kind of spiritual essence to cracking. It doesn't crack to become a buddha. It just cracks.
The fourth misunderstanding is to make Buddhist practice and philosophy something stuck and solid, like a bar of soap in the bathroom. We should not discard Buddhist practice and philosophy, but we should not make it something solid and rigid, like a bar of soap. We should freely give bars of soap and accept bars of soap. We should let practice come and go. I don't mean practice zazen three times a year, I mean practice zazen when it is our habit to practice, and it should be every day, and stop practicing zazen, when it is our habit to stop and go to bed or begin eating. We should let Buddhist ideas and values come and go. If we stick to practice and make it a very important part of our lives, it becomes something separate and loses its original value. If we make Buddhist philosophy a special thing and we think about it all the time, it loses its original meaning and becomes rigid, so it cannot help anybody. To transcend buddhas, to let go of buddhas, to let buddhas come and go, to forget buddhas and witness cracking branches, that is the way of those who have transcended Buddhism and buddhas, while practicing zazen regularly and bowing with others and eating with others over and over again.
February 12, 2015
Acting beyond Buddhas
It is difficult, but important not to be an idealistic Buddhist. It is important to be a realistic Buddhist. An idealistic Buddhist basically sees things dualistically and is less interested in the truth as such than he or she is interested in some Buddhist ideals. Buddhist ideals are important as they help us to learn what Buddhism is, but we should not get stuck on the idealistic level of understanding what Buddhism is. So even if master Dogen writes about patriarchs, buddhas, great realization, and brightness, we should learn from our real teachers, who have transcended the idealistic aspect of Buddhism, that the great Buddhist ideals must be found in our real everyday life, in our real actions and not in our thinking or intellectual understanding alone.
I have made this mistake many a time - although I have been practicing zazen for more than 20 years, my narrow mind has told me many times that something great is different from me, that some kind of buddhas are far away from me, that some great realization is not within my everyday life and that the expression of Buddhist truth is something only experienced teachers can manifest. But this is only the delusion of one's limited mind and is not true Buddhist teaching. On the other hand, if I say that I am a buddha, if I say that I can express the truth, and I have had great realization, that is just another side of the same fake coin and is not what buddhas and patriarchs teach or express. So both being sceptical about one's buddha nature and bragging one's capabilities and claiming that one can express the truth completely are mistakes and lack the genuine character of a realistic person.
In the past I mistakenly assumed that master Dogen divided his disciples into two separate groups - those who can express the truth and those who cannot express the truth. But that was my lack of understanding. It seemed to me that master Dogen liked to test his disciples and expected them to express the truth clearly before him and other monks. The thing is I did not read these records thoroughly. At one such occasion master Dogen asks his disciples to come forth and manifest the truth and says that if they are not capable of this, his staff will laugh at them. This is exactly where my understanding ended. But later I read this again and noticed that master Dogen adds: "If I say that you cannot express the truth, my eyebrows will fall off." In other words, master Dogen refused to make the mistake of deciding whether someone's action is definitely expression of the truth or not.
My teacher has been pointing out the importance of our everyday action ever since I met him and probably long before I met him. How could we not express the truth completely if we completely do something at the present moment? No amount of intellectual understanding will make up for our simple actions like making tea, getting dressed, finding the keys, making phone calls, etc. The intellectual understanding of Buddhism may be a virus that will make a gap between our mind and our body, between ideals and actions, and will prevent us from "getting the body out" - quoting Fukanzazengi. Such intellectual understanding will prevent us from liberating the actions from sticky ideas and theories. The paradox is that the right attitude toward Buddhist philosophy and sincere efforts to understand the essential points of Buddhism may help us liberate the body and mind and see what the life of buddhas is in the present moment.
So as I had mistakenly thought that master Dogen had demanded his disciples that they express the truth in certain situations, although master Dogen never said his disciples didn't express the truth when eating or going to the toilet. I asked my teacher some time ago, why modern Buddhist teachers, the followers of master Dogen's teaching, don't test their students any more, in a similar fashion as master Dogen did. My teacher explained that it is not necessary to imitate the ways of medieval Japanese monks and teachers. Then I asked Gabriele Linnebach, also a dharma heir of late Nishijima roshi, and she explained, among other things, that doing, acting and living is foremost, that practice in the present is the most important thing.
In Shogobenzo, chapter called Dotoku, where master Dogen explains the problem of expressing the truth, he tells the story of master Seppo who once heard about an excellent hut-master living in the mountains. Master Seppo decided to visit this hut-master and test him. "Express the truth and I will not shave your head," said master Seppo to the hut-master whose hair was long. An ordinary person will expect the hut-master to succeed or fail this test, just like I tended to understand until recently. But the hut-master, to my surprise and later joy, comes forward and is ready to have his head shaved. Master Dogen explains how this excellent action transcends our limited understanding of what expressing the truth is. After all, the hut-master just comes forward and acts. He is not entangled in Buddhist ideals or sceptical thoughts about his Buddhist abilities. He just comes forward and allows master Seppo to shave his head. Now master Dogen really admires what happens next. One would expect master Seppo to drop his razor and laugh, says master Dogen, but instead master Seppo, a true Buddhist patriarch, goes beyond buddhas and patriarchs, and just shaves the hut-master's head.
From this story and master Dogen's delicate explanations of its true meaning, we can learn that our simple every day actions, beyond understanding and not understanding, beyond buddhas and ordinary beings, beyond being great or small, are beautiful, rare flowers of dharma. Simple, everyday actions, without being trapped by good words or bad words, without bragging about one's experience or capabilities, or running away in shame, make our lives worth buddhas' attention. To express the truth is definitely important for anyone who is sincerely interested in Dharma. But once we are bold enough to step over the line of intellectual limits, we can act freely and express ourselves freely. We can enjoy the freedom with which true beings act, and we can see the freedom of children, animals, plants and all nature, that can never not express what is true about them. So once we decide to speak about Buddhist theories and ideals, it should not prevent us from living our real life and it should not prevent others from getting dressed, eating meals or going to bed. And we should recognize the lack of truth in the words of idealists and recognize the authentic, true actions of those who have opened their bodies and minds to what is right here.
I have made this mistake many a time - although I have been practicing zazen for more than 20 years, my narrow mind has told me many times that something great is different from me, that some kind of buddhas are far away from me, that some great realization is not within my everyday life and that the expression of Buddhist truth is something only experienced teachers can manifest. But this is only the delusion of one's limited mind and is not true Buddhist teaching. On the other hand, if I say that I am a buddha, if I say that I can express the truth, and I have had great realization, that is just another side of the same fake coin and is not what buddhas and patriarchs teach or express. So both being sceptical about one's buddha nature and bragging one's capabilities and claiming that one can express the truth completely are mistakes and lack the genuine character of a realistic person.
In the past I mistakenly assumed that master Dogen divided his disciples into two separate groups - those who can express the truth and those who cannot express the truth. But that was my lack of understanding. It seemed to me that master Dogen liked to test his disciples and expected them to express the truth clearly before him and other monks. The thing is I did not read these records thoroughly. At one such occasion master Dogen asks his disciples to come forth and manifest the truth and says that if they are not capable of this, his staff will laugh at them. This is exactly where my understanding ended. But later I read this again and noticed that master Dogen adds: "If I say that you cannot express the truth, my eyebrows will fall off." In other words, master Dogen refused to make the mistake of deciding whether someone's action is definitely expression of the truth or not.
My teacher has been pointing out the importance of our everyday action ever since I met him and probably long before I met him. How could we not express the truth completely if we completely do something at the present moment? No amount of intellectual understanding will make up for our simple actions like making tea, getting dressed, finding the keys, making phone calls, etc. The intellectual understanding of Buddhism may be a virus that will make a gap between our mind and our body, between ideals and actions, and will prevent us from "getting the body out" - quoting Fukanzazengi. Such intellectual understanding will prevent us from liberating the actions from sticky ideas and theories. The paradox is that the right attitude toward Buddhist philosophy and sincere efforts to understand the essential points of Buddhism may help us liberate the body and mind and see what the life of buddhas is in the present moment.
So as I had mistakenly thought that master Dogen had demanded his disciples that they express the truth in certain situations, although master Dogen never said his disciples didn't express the truth when eating or going to the toilet. I asked my teacher some time ago, why modern Buddhist teachers, the followers of master Dogen's teaching, don't test their students any more, in a similar fashion as master Dogen did. My teacher explained that it is not necessary to imitate the ways of medieval Japanese monks and teachers. Then I asked Gabriele Linnebach, also a dharma heir of late Nishijima roshi, and she explained, among other things, that doing, acting and living is foremost, that practice in the present is the most important thing.
In Shogobenzo, chapter called Dotoku, where master Dogen explains the problem of expressing the truth, he tells the story of master Seppo who once heard about an excellent hut-master living in the mountains. Master Seppo decided to visit this hut-master and test him. "Express the truth and I will not shave your head," said master Seppo to the hut-master whose hair was long. An ordinary person will expect the hut-master to succeed or fail this test, just like I tended to understand until recently. But the hut-master, to my surprise and later joy, comes forward and is ready to have his head shaved. Master Dogen explains how this excellent action transcends our limited understanding of what expressing the truth is. After all, the hut-master just comes forward and acts. He is not entangled in Buddhist ideals or sceptical thoughts about his Buddhist abilities. He just comes forward and allows master Seppo to shave his head. Now master Dogen really admires what happens next. One would expect master Seppo to drop his razor and laugh, says master Dogen, but instead master Seppo, a true Buddhist patriarch, goes beyond buddhas and patriarchs, and just shaves the hut-master's head.
From this story and master Dogen's delicate explanations of its true meaning, we can learn that our simple every day actions, beyond understanding and not understanding, beyond buddhas and ordinary beings, beyond being great or small, are beautiful, rare flowers of dharma. Simple, everyday actions, without being trapped by good words or bad words, without bragging about one's experience or capabilities, or running away in shame, make our lives worth buddhas' attention. To express the truth is definitely important for anyone who is sincerely interested in Dharma. But once we are bold enough to step over the line of intellectual limits, we can act freely and express ourselves freely. We can enjoy the freedom with which true beings act, and we can see the freedom of children, animals, plants and all nature, that can never not express what is true about them. So once we decide to speak about Buddhist theories and ideals, it should not prevent us from living our real life and it should not prevent others from getting dressed, eating meals or going to bed. And we should recognize the lack of truth in the words of idealists and recognize the authentic, true actions of those who have opened their bodies and minds to what is right here.
January 21, 2014
Venerating Those Above and Pitying Those Below
In his Shobogenzo Shoji chapter about Life and Death, master Dogen gives some instructions to people as for doing the right things within Buddhist practice. And he recommends that we "venerate those above and pity those below". I am using the best translation of Shobogenzo I know of, which is the translation by recently late Gudo Nishijima and Mike Cross. Other translations say for example "respect those who are spiritually above you and have pity on those who are spiritually less advanced than you". This sounds even more suspicious, as if master Dogen believed in some hierarchy in Buddhist circles, that is masters spiritually being above their disciples, who are spiritually weak. But I think master Dogen means something else.
"Venerate those above" could mean "respect and learn from those who live the truth, which means people who are honest and sincere, experienced, be it a cook, a cleaning lady at the train station or a taxi driver, a Chinese Zen master or a beginner, whose heart is pure and curious and wants to learn the Way". All those people are above us! But not above us as if we, me or you, were always crawling along the ground, unable to raise to standards of buddhas. Above us, meaning once we drop under our standard of buddhas, under the standard of our ability to wake up now. Even if it is sometimes difficult to raise above our delusions and dreams, we can be optimistic and raise to the level of buddhas whenever we just wake up from our dreams and plunge into a simple action here and now. Then we are free from levels high or low and free from Buddhist instructions. But if we struggle to return to the standards of buddhas, we should venerate those who have just woken up, for example a beginner who has just come to practice zazen and study the Way with pure heart and intentions. Such people are above those who temporarily lost their ability to wake up and consider themselves hopelessly deluded or forever enlightened. True Buddhist teachers always try to wake up from such silly ideas and are always willing to learn from those who came for the first time and whose mind is completely open and unobstructed by narrow categories. Even master Shunryu Suzuki teaches that beginner's mind should be our highest ideal. It is really difficult to be a true beginner, especially after many years of practice, to be someone without attachment to various ideas and various spiritual experiences. Of course, master Dogen also suggests that we should learn from excellent Buddhist teachers of all times, but these excellent Buddhist teachers of all times always express the maturity and wisdom of someone who has never even heard about Buddhist teachings and just do something in the present moment wholeheartedly. We should respect those who are willing to put down all kinds of past achievements and fame and simply do something beyond ranks, such as raise a pot or put down a plate. Those are called buddhas according to master Dogen and we should venerate such buddhas as they are not attached to their buddhahood and freely express the meaning of buddhas and freely leave behind the bubbles bleeding from all kinds of Buddhist teachings. We should also venerate our own ability to wake up and should not underestimate the buddha in our zazen posture and the buddha in our everyday life. We should therefore venerate the self which we leave behind and replace with a fresh action in this moment. It is also impossible to venerate something separate and forget the whole. Even if we venerate master So-and-so, or Buddha Shakyamuni, we actually venerate the first principle of the universe, something which is the source of this vivid situation. When we venerate something as if it was isolated from this vivid situation, we venerate some kind of dream, but when we venerate those who have woken up, we venerate tables, chairs, cups, benches and everyone and everything which has just woken up to the real condition of things.
"Pity those below" could also mean care about, reflect, think about, or do not ignore those who have temporarily lost their awakening, whose mind has closed for a while, and they got stuck in ideas and feeling inferior or superior. But it also means pity those realms of your own, which caused you to sink into levels of fools. In other words, we should brush teeth, wash hair, clean the kitchen, but also look after the state of our body and mind, which is not different from "pity those below". Pity those below is not a maintained emotion, but a vivid action, here and now, a vivid action and waking up to the standards of buddhas. It is not feeling superior just like when we brush teeth, we don't consider dirt as something low, but we just brush teeth. When we clean the kitchen, we don't consider the mess before cleaning as something inferior but we just clean the mess. So pity those below is just taking an action and setting things anew. We should not feel superior to mess, dirt, or those who are deluded for a while. When master Dogen criticized different people for their mistakes in Buddhism, he pitied them, but rather then whining he just took the action of writing and teaching what Buddhism is and is not, he didn't feel superior or inferior, when pitying those, who had made a mistake. "Those below" are not below as if we were spiritually higher, those below are below their own true standards and when we are below, we are also below our true standards. When we clarify the meaning of below and above, we can see things in the West and see things in the East. There is no reason to be confused by different points of views and we can walk on straight and alive. We help those who lost direction and ask for help those who have found the direction.
After all we should not try to be spiritually more advanced than the ground beneath our feet or spiritually less advanced than the sky above. We should only go where spiritual steps mean one step from this room to another step to that room. Doing so, we can forget for a while about venerating those above and pitying those below. Master Dogen never wanted to obstruct our own lively steps with his teaching, he always wanted to encourage our steps beyond high and low. So when we just walk, those who are below can learn from us and find their true level and those who are above us can also learn from our simple action and find their true standards.
"Venerate those above" could mean "respect and learn from those who live the truth, which means people who are honest and sincere, experienced, be it a cook, a cleaning lady at the train station or a taxi driver, a Chinese Zen master or a beginner, whose heart is pure and curious and wants to learn the Way". All those people are above us! But not above us as if we, me or you, were always crawling along the ground, unable to raise to standards of buddhas. Above us, meaning once we drop under our standard of buddhas, under the standard of our ability to wake up now. Even if it is sometimes difficult to raise above our delusions and dreams, we can be optimistic and raise to the level of buddhas whenever we just wake up from our dreams and plunge into a simple action here and now. Then we are free from levels high or low and free from Buddhist instructions. But if we struggle to return to the standards of buddhas, we should venerate those who have just woken up, for example a beginner who has just come to practice zazen and study the Way with pure heart and intentions. Such people are above those who temporarily lost their ability to wake up and consider themselves hopelessly deluded or forever enlightened. True Buddhist teachers always try to wake up from such silly ideas and are always willing to learn from those who came for the first time and whose mind is completely open and unobstructed by narrow categories. Even master Shunryu Suzuki teaches that beginner's mind should be our highest ideal. It is really difficult to be a true beginner, especially after many years of practice, to be someone without attachment to various ideas and various spiritual experiences. Of course, master Dogen also suggests that we should learn from excellent Buddhist teachers of all times, but these excellent Buddhist teachers of all times always express the maturity and wisdom of someone who has never even heard about Buddhist teachings and just do something in the present moment wholeheartedly. We should respect those who are willing to put down all kinds of past achievements and fame and simply do something beyond ranks, such as raise a pot or put down a plate. Those are called buddhas according to master Dogen and we should venerate such buddhas as they are not attached to their buddhahood and freely express the meaning of buddhas and freely leave behind the bubbles bleeding from all kinds of Buddhist teachings. We should also venerate our own ability to wake up and should not underestimate the buddha in our zazen posture and the buddha in our everyday life. We should therefore venerate the self which we leave behind and replace with a fresh action in this moment. It is also impossible to venerate something separate and forget the whole. Even if we venerate master So-and-so, or Buddha Shakyamuni, we actually venerate the first principle of the universe, something which is the source of this vivid situation. When we venerate something as if it was isolated from this vivid situation, we venerate some kind of dream, but when we venerate those who have woken up, we venerate tables, chairs, cups, benches and everyone and everything which has just woken up to the real condition of things.
"Pity those below" could also mean care about, reflect, think about, or do not ignore those who have temporarily lost their awakening, whose mind has closed for a while, and they got stuck in ideas and feeling inferior or superior. But it also means pity those realms of your own, which caused you to sink into levels of fools. In other words, we should brush teeth, wash hair, clean the kitchen, but also look after the state of our body and mind, which is not different from "pity those below". Pity those below is not a maintained emotion, but a vivid action, here and now, a vivid action and waking up to the standards of buddhas. It is not feeling superior just like when we brush teeth, we don't consider dirt as something low, but we just brush teeth. When we clean the kitchen, we don't consider the mess before cleaning as something inferior but we just clean the mess. So pity those below is just taking an action and setting things anew. We should not feel superior to mess, dirt, or those who are deluded for a while. When master Dogen criticized different people for their mistakes in Buddhism, he pitied them, but rather then whining he just took the action of writing and teaching what Buddhism is and is not, he didn't feel superior or inferior, when pitying those, who had made a mistake. "Those below" are not below as if we were spiritually higher, those below are below their own true standards and when we are below, we are also below our true standards. When we clarify the meaning of below and above, we can see things in the West and see things in the East. There is no reason to be confused by different points of views and we can walk on straight and alive. We help those who lost direction and ask for help those who have found the direction.
After all we should not try to be spiritually more advanced than the ground beneath our feet or spiritually less advanced than the sky above. We should only go where spiritual steps mean one step from this room to another step to that room. Doing so, we can forget for a while about venerating those above and pitying those below. Master Dogen never wanted to obstruct our own lively steps with his teaching, he always wanted to encourage our steps beyond high and low. So when we just walk, those who are below can learn from us and find their true level and those who are above us can also learn from our simple action and find their true standards.
August 19, 2013
Paradoxes - part 3
Let me continue the articles about paradoxes in Buddhism.
Paradox No 6
Although people interested in Buddhism hope to find perfect peace one day, the only way how to find perfect peace of mind is to stop trying to attain perfect peace of mind and just do something.
I think this is quite self-explanatory. But I'll try to say something about it based on my experience. I have just practiced zazen for one hour. I usually feel peaceful and happy after one hour of zazen. That's usually, mind you. Not always. And now how do I feel? I am not sure. Nothing much. This is exactly the moment when I could feel disappointed and restless: How come I don't feel wonderful after one hour of zazen? This is exactly the mistake. How come the sex was not what it was last time? How come nobody likes what I am writing although a year ago people liked it? How come it is not sunny today? How come my partner is not as cheerful as usual? How come they stopped selling my favorite ice-cream around the corner? How come nobody comes to me with a million saying: Hey, I got some spare cash, I thought you might like to use some of it... How come I am not five years old any more? I could come up with lots of crazy "how come". The whole thing is about whether we can deal with reality or not. Deal with it. Zazen will only make you peaceful, if you can accept the lack of peace here and now. Just forget the whole thing of being peaceful or not and do something. This is what I am saying to myself from time to time, when I don't feel so peaceful. Just make another step. Forget the last step. I wish I could have written something more interesting about this whole thing but as it seems, I have failed. Now I can relax and deal with the fact that I am a lousy Buddhist writer. Peace!
Paradox No 7
You look up to your master and hope to at least be similar to him or her, yet she is doing her best to convince you that you have been the Buddha since the very beginning.
Now I have made up a story about a tiger zen master and a mouse zen student.
A mouse wants to learn the Buddhist truth and she... he? Now how to avoid the whole sexist issue. To make things modern, let's say the mouse is a boy and the master is a tigress. OK. So a mouse hears there is a famous Zen master living in the jungle and she is a tigress and knows the secret of Buddhism perfectly. The mouse decides to find the tigress and learn from her. Although a bit afraid of the mighty beast, he after a long difficult journey finds a little grass hut where the master lives. He greets the master respectfully and says that he wants to be a student of hers and learn the truth of Buddhism from her. "OK", says the tigress, "we can start right away. You can live next to me and see how I live. Maybe you can learn the secret of Buddhism if you practice zazen with me every day and spend the rest of the day with me." The mouse was excited. Of course, he was ready to do anything the master would say. They began to practice zazen together and spend the days together. The tiger would go hunting every day and the mouse followed her. The tiger often repeated: "It is important to be your true self." The tiger was an excellent hunter. It would follow its prey silently and in the right moment jumped and caught the animal. The lunch was ready. The mouse tried hard to do exactly the same. Silently wait in the grass and jump out in the right moment. Then the mouse would always fail to catch the animal but because the tigress was a very noble being, it would let the mouse eat a bit of her own lunch. There was always more than plenty for them both. It was like this for weeks and months. The mouse always tried hard to imitate the master, but never caught anything, only to be invited to the lunch or dinner after its yet another hunting failure. After three years the mouse, kind of disappointed, still not understanding Buddhism very much and not having learned how to catch prey, asked the master: "What's wrong? I have been practicing with you for three years, trying hard to learn from you, always following your example, but I've never learned the secret of Buddhism, obviously. While you are a mighty tigress, I am a lousy mouse. I can't even catch a frog, let alone an antelope." "And who told you", replied the master, "that your job is to become a tiger? Who told you to go and imitate me when I do my job? I have no idea what a mouse does to get food, I hoped you would live your life as a mouse, but was always puzzled when you tried to hunt with me. You can watch and learn from me how a tiger lives, but that doesn't mean you should become a tiger. Now go back to your mouse life and try to live your mouse life, maybe you will at last understand what Buddhism is about." The mouse went back home, very disappointed, but not giving up. He still believed, somehow intuitively, that the tigress was a true master and he believed that she'd given him the best advice. So he went home and tried to live a life of a mouse. For a few weeks it was very difficult, everywhere he went he tended to look for prey, rather than look for cheese or cereals. But after some weeks of hunger and confusion, he learned to find cheese or cereals and eat well. One day, as he was peacefully munching on a piece of Eidam he'd found somewhere in the house where he lived, the tigress happened to walk by and heard some mousy noise. She was interested, as tigers usually are, in noises, so she came closer and found her old student, the mouse munching on a piece of cheese. Excited to see her old student living happily, she exclaimed: "I see my old little student at last found the truth of Buddhism!" For a fraction of a second, the mouse didn't understand at all. Then, all of a sudden, holding a piece of cheese in his little hands, he understood something important. He cheerfully smiled at the tigress and the smile said a big "thank you". The tigress said: "Don't forget what you learned from me!" Then she disappeared in the grass.
Maybe you can notice this story was inspired by a few similar stories from master Dogen's collection of koans, the book called Shinji Shobogenzo. I recommend that you read those stories if you find this one interesting. They are all the same, essentially, but if we don't pay attention to the realism of life that those stories try to teach us, we will end up being a ghost, a shadow of our true self. We'll try to become a tiger in a mouse's body.
Paradox No 6
Although people interested in Buddhism hope to find perfect peace one day, the only way how to find perfect peace of mind is to stop trying to attain perfect peace of mind and just do something.
I think this is quite self-explanatory. But I'll try to say something about it based on my experience. I have just practiced zazen for one hour. I usually feel peaceful and happy after one hour of zazen. That's usually, mind you. Not always. And now how do I feel? I am not sure. Nothing much. This is exactly the moment when I could feel disappointed and restless: How come I don't feel wonderful after one hour of zazen? This is exactly the mistake. How come the sex was not what it was last time? How come nobody likes what I am writing although a year ago people liked it? How come it is not sunny today? How come my partner is not as cheerful as usual? How come they stopped selling my favorite ice-cream around the corner? How come nobody comes to me with a million saying: Hey, I got some spare cash, I thought you might like to use some of it... How come I am not five years old any more? I could come up with lots of crazy "how come". The whole thing is about whether we can deal with reality or not. Deal with it. Zazen will only make you peaceful, if you can accept the lack of peace here and now. Just forget the whole thing of being peaceful or not and do something. This is what I am saying to myself from time to time, when I don't feel so peaceful. Just make another step. Forget the last step. I wish I could have written something more interesting about this whole thing but as it seems, I have failed. Now I can relax and deal with the fact that I am a lousy Buddhist writer. Peace!
Paradox No 7
You look up to your master and hope to at least be similar to him or her, yet she is doing her best to convince you that you have been the Buddha since the very beginning.
Now I have made up a story about a tiger zen master and a mouse zen student.
A mouse wants to learn the Buddhist truth and she... he? Now how to avoid the whole sexist issue. To make things modern, let's say the mouse is a boy and the master is a tigress. OK. So a mouse hears there is a famous Zen master living in the jungle and she is a tigress and knows the secret of Buddhism perfectly. The mouse decides to find the tigress and learn from her. Although a bit afraid of the mighty beast, he after a long difficult journey finds a little grass hut where the master lives. He greets the master respectfully and says that he wants to be a student of hers and learn the truth of Buddhism from her. "OK", says the tigress, "we can start right away. You can live next to me and see how I live. Maybe you can learn the secret of Buddhism if you practice zazen with me every day and spend the rest of the day with me." The mouse was excited. Of course, he was ready to do anything the master would say. They began to practice zazen together and spend the days together. The tiger would go hunting every day and the mouse followed her. The tiger often repeated: "It is important to be your true self." The tiger was an excellent hunter. It would follow its prey silently and in the right moment jumped and caught the animal. The lunch was ready. The mouse tried hard to do exactly the same. Silently wait in the grass and jump out in the right moment. Then the mouse would always fail to catch the animal but because the tigress was a very noble being, it would let the mouse eat a bit of her own lunch. There was always more than plenty for them both. It was like this for weeks and months. The mouse always tried hard to imitate the master, but never caught anything, only to be invited to the lunch or dinner after its yet another hunting failure. After three years the mouse, kind of disappointed, still not understanding Buddhism very much and not having learned how to catch prey, asked the master: "What's wrong? I have been practicing with you for three years, trying hard to learn from you, always following your example, but I've never learned the secret of Buddhism, obviously. While you are a mighty tigress, I am a lousy mouse. I can't even catch a frog, let alone an antelope." "And who told you", replied the master, "that your job is to become a tiger? Who told you to go and imitate me when I do my job? I have no idea what a mouse does to get food, I hoped you would live your life as a mouse, but was always puzzled when you tried to hunt with me. You can watch and learn from me how a tiger lives, but that doesn't mean you should become a tiger. Now go back to your mouse life and try to live your mouse life, maybe you will at last understand what Buddhism is about." The mouse went back home, very disappointed, but not giving up. He still believed, somehow intuitively, that the tigress was a true master and he believed that she'd given him the best advice. So he went home and tried to live a life of a mouse. For a few weeks it was very difficult, everywhere he went he tended to look for prey, rather than look for cheese or cereals. But after some weeks of hunger and confusion, he learned to find cheese or cereals and eat well. One day, as he was peacefully munching on a piece of Eidam he'd found somewhere in the house where he lived, the tigress happened to walk by and heard some mousy noise. She was interested, as tigers usually are, in noises, so she came closer and found her old student, the mouse munching on a piece of cheese. Excited to see her old student living happily, she exclaimed: "I see my old little student at last found the truth of Buddhism!" For a fraction of a second, the mouse didn't understand at all. Then, all of a sudden, holding a piece of cheese in his little hands, he understood something important. He cheerfully smiled at the tigress and the smile said a big "thank you". The tigress said: "Don't forget what you learned from me!" Then she disappeared in the grass.
Maybe you can notice this story was inspired by a few similar stories from master Dogen's collection of koans, the book called Shinji Shobogenzo. I recommend that you read those stories if you find this one interesting. They are all the same, essentially, but if we don't pay attention to the realism of life that those stories try to teach us, we will end up being a ghost, a shadow of our true self. We'll try to become a tiger in a mouse's body.
August 16, 2013
Paradoxes - part 2
Now I'll continue writing the text about paradoxes in Buddhism.
Before I proceed to the paradox No 5, let me present a story, a made up story, a story, a dialogue I made up, Buddha meeting a disciple. I made this up in order to explain something about what it's like to be an ordinary person, why enlightened is not different from ordinary:
A disciple said to Gautama:
"Dear Buddha, you are such a noble, enlightened person, I am only a deluded farmer. I wish I could be as noble and enlightened as you, sir."
Gautama replied: "I am a silly, deluded person, not a noble person. But just because I can see clearly that I am ordinary, people call me Buddha."
"What can I do", asked the farmer, "to see clearly that I am an ordinary person?"
"Just when you eat rice, eat your rice, and don't try to eat somebody else's rice."
So this is a story about a farmer looking up to Buddha and trying to be like him. When I was discussing the problem of zazen as something where there is no profit, I wrote that sooner or later, Buddha takes over and your zazen is Buddha's zazen. But who is that Buddha who takes over? What is that true thing about zazen? The true thing about zazen is that we cannot escape our delusions but we can realize how silly we are. The true thing about enlightenment is that we cannot escape a life of an ordinary, deluded person. But when we realize that we can never become the fantasy Buddha and can only live our own life, that is called Buddha. When we practice zazen with this silly, ordinary body and mind and give up the idea that we could become a noble, generally respected person who never does or says a stupid thing, then we practice what Buddha practiced. So because a beginner doesn't become deluded about Buddha yet, that makes him Buddha already. When we collect experience and thoughts through Buddhism, we may start to believe that there is something about us that could be made into Buddha and we may want to impress others with that puppet thing. Only when we realize that we only carry images in our heads, and that tea is tea no matter if you are a factory worker or a famous Buddhist teacher, we may decide to discover the value of our ordinary state. So when Buddha takes over when we practice zazen, that means our ordinary state in zazen becomes happy with itself.
ad Paradox No 5
Although it is important to realize that our actions change the world so we have to act responsibly and thoughtfully, we are perfectly free and unlimited by our past actions in this very moment.
When I am deluded... I don't want to generalize, but let's say I am pretty deluded before I practice zazen and after zazen I become aware of my delusions... you know it's not always this simple, but anyway. So when I am completely deluded about myself, I think what I did yesterday or last month was really stupid. Then I cannot really talk to anyone or do anything because I carry this burden of negative emotions with me. In such a state I never write about Buddhism because I feel it would be heavy with some egocentric feelings and it would hardly say much about Buddhism other than that it is quite usual that people feel bad about themselves. But when I practice zazen, I usually don't feel that burden any more. What mistakes I made in the past are among all other mistakes all people ever made. My mistakes, your mistakes... well, what about now? That doesn't mean I reject my responsibility, but I do not take it so personally any more. Imagine your mother said to you last week that you are selfish and disappointing and completely bad person. No matter why she said it, it may be true or not, but that is not the point. If you are really lost in delusions about you and others, you may become very upset or disappointed, but if you understand that all people in the whole world make mistakes all the time, then you can stop for a while, stop thinking too fast and realize that the only thing we can do about this messed up world is to wake up now and be light to others. Nothing wonderful, just do something, and don't worry about the past. Open the door. There. That's already the light to others. That's what a real savior does. You can only save the world if you don't judge it. So even if we judge somebody in Buddhism, if it is Buddha's opened mind and not somebody's narrow opinion, then it is teaching and helping. We have to feel whether someone only spreads hatred and delusions or if someone is trying to help us see the light in otherwise dark world. The way we judge in Buddhism is based on something completely open, it is based on caring, not based on hatred. Even the worst expressions master Dogen uttered about non-Buddhists were based on his immense caring about the happiness of all living beings and not only some dark deluded thoughts about bad people. I sometimes come to work and when I realize how many mistakes I must have made and how many people criticize me, I could also just give up and go back home and tell my boss that I cannot continue at work if I am such a bad person. But after zazen I don't feel like that. When we practice zazen sincerely, we can see that the whole world is deluded, not just me or you, and at fault, not just you or him. So when we practice zazen sincerely, we can see that right now is time to help the world. How can we help? We can act soberly, not judging anyone and just do something what is necessary to do. If you meet a colleague at work and you think, Ah, she hates me... drop that idea and just say hello to her. Encourage yourself and her, that we can return to this very moment and forget what was wrong yesterday. We never know who is more deluded, who makes more mistakes. Its' not about whether she is right or wrong, or whether she should change her opinion of you. It's about having to wake up and stop the chain of opinions and entanglement. There is always someone to blame, so we could also blame the whole universe. Or only the Nazis? Should we blame the parents or our colleagues? We could say the whole world is waiting for someone who stops the never ending game of judgement and criticism and just says hello. What kind of life can we expect to have and what kind of life can others expect to have, if they never forget the past and future and never wake up. So what I do personally and what most people do and it is more natural after zazen, is that we just go to work again and say hello to everyone, friends and foes. And the universe is a great place for a while again. It's great when the world is free from the ideas about past and future. We only imagine past and future and we cannot stop this imagination, but we should also discover the virginity, the innocence of this moment, and the innocence and virginity of all beings, including retired prostitutes. In Buddhism, there is nobody else who could be more innocent than a retired prostitute. But it is important to realize what kind of innocence it is. What kind of innocence does Buddhism offer? The key to the true innocence of Buddha is just in this very moment.
I think I have already written enough today and I will continue about the rest of paradoxes next time.
Thanks to all the readers who keep encouraging me as this writing helps me to realize what matters and what doesn't matter so much which may help the people I encounter so we all help each other if we support some kind of wisdom and awakened life. "Some kind of awakened life". May this be something that happens to us all.
Before I proceed to the paradox No 5, let me present a story, a made up story, a story, a dialogue I made up, Buddha meeting a disciple. I made this up in order to explain something about what it's like to be an ordinary person, why enlightened is not different from ordinary:
A disciple said to Gautama:
"Dear Buddha, you are such a noble, enlightened person, I am only a deluded farmer. I wish I could be as noble and enlightened as you, sir."
Gautama replied: "I am a silly, deluded person, not a noble person. But just because I can see clearly that I am ordinary, people call me Buddha."
"What can I do", asked the farmer, "to see clearly that I am an ordinary person?"
"Just when you eat rice, eat your rice, and don't try to eat somebody else's rice."
So this is a story about a farmer looking up to Buddha and trying to be like him. When I was discussing the problem of zazen as something where there is no profit, I wrote that sooner or later, Buddha takes over and your zazen is Buddha's zazen. But who is that Buddha who takes over? What is that true thing about zazen? The true thing about zazen is that we cannot escape our delusions but we can realize how silly we are. The true thing about enlightenment is that we cannot escape a life of an ordinary, deluded person. But when we realize that we can never become the fantasy Buddha and can only live our own life, that is called Buddha. When we practice zazen with this silly, ordinary body and mind and give up the idea that we could become a noble, generally respected person who never does or says a stupid thing, then we practice what Buddha practiced. So because a beginner doesn't become deluded about Buddha yet, that makes him Buddha already. When we collect experience and thoughts through Buddhism, we may start to believe that there is something about us that could be made into Buddha and we may want to impress others with that puppet thing. Only when we realize that we only carry images in our heads, and that tea is tea no matter if you are a factory worker or a famous Buddhist teacher, we may decide to discover the value of our ordinary state. So when Buddha takes over when we practice zazen, that means our ordinary state in zazen becomes happy with itself.
ad Paradox No 5
Although it is important to realize that our actions change the world so we have to act responsibly and thoughtfully, we are perfectly free and unlimited by our past actions in this very moment.
When I am deluded... I don't want to generalize, but let's say I am pretty deluded before I practice zazen and after zazen I become aware of my delusions... you know it's not always this simple, but anyway. So when I am completely deluded about myself, I think what I did yesterday or last month was really stupid. Then I cannot really talk to anyone or do anything because I carry this burden of negative emotions with me. In such a state I never write about Buddhism because I feel it would be heavy with some egocentric feelings and it would hardly say much about Buddhism other than that it is quite usual that people feel bad about themselves. But when I practice zazen, I usually don't feel that burden any more. What mistakes I made in the past are among all other mistakes all people ever made. My mistakes, your mistakes... well, what about now? That doesn't mean I reject my responsibility, but I do not take it so personally any more. Imagine your mother said to you last week that you are selfish and disappointing and completely bad person. No matter why she said it, it may be true or not, but that is not the point. If you are really lost in delusions about you and others, you may become very upset or disappointed, but if you understand that all people in the whole world make mistakes all the time, then you can stop for a while, stop thinking too fast and realize that the only thing we can do about this messed up world is to wake up now and be light to others. Nothing wonderful, just do something, and don't worry about the past. Open the door. There. That's already the light to others. That's what a real savior does. You can only save the world if you don't judge it. So even if we judge somebody in Buddhism, if it is Buddha's opened mind and not somebody's narrow opinion, then it is teaching and helping. We have to feel whether someone only spreads hatred and delusions or if someone is trying to help us see the light in otherwise dark world. The way we judge in Buddhism is based on something completely open, it is based on caring, not based on hatred. Even the worst expressions master Dogen uttered about non-Buddhists were based on his immense caring about the happiness of all living beings and not only some dark deluded thoughts about bad people. I sometimes come to work and when I realize how many mistakes I must have made and how many people criticize me, I could also just give up and go back home and tell my boss that I cannot continue at work if I am such a bad person. But after zazen I don't feel like that. When we practice zazen sincerely, we can see that the whole world is deluded, not just me or you, and at fault, not just you or him. So when we practice zazen sincerely, we can see that right now is time to help the world. How can we help? We can act soberly, not judging anyone and just do something what is necessary to do. If you meet a colleague at work and you think, Ah, she hates me... drop that idea and just say hello to her. Encourage yourself and her, that we can return to this very moment and forget what was wrong yesterday. We never know who is more deluded, who makes more mistakes. Its' not about whether she is right or wrong, or whether she should change her opinion of you. It's about having to wake up and stop the chain of opinions and entanglement. There is always someone to blame, so we could also blame the whole universe. Or only the Nazis? Should we blame the parents or our colleagues? We could say the whole world is waiting for someone who stops the never ending game of judgement and criticism and just says hello. What kind of life can we expect to have and what kind of life can others expect to have, if they never forget the past and future and never wake up. So what I do personally and what most people do and it is more natural after zazen, is that we just go to work again and say hello to everyone, friends and foes. And the universe is a great place for a while again. It's great when the world is free from the ideas about past and future. We only imagine past and future and we cannot stop this imagination, but we should also discover the virginity, the innocence of this moment, and the innocence and virginity of all beings, including retired prostitutes. In Buddhism, there is nobody else who could be more innocent than a retired prostitute. But it is important to realize what kind of innocence it is. What kind of innocence does Buddhism offer? The key to the true innocence of Buddha is just in this very moment.
I think I have already written enough today and I will continue about the rest of paradoxes next time.
Thanks to all the readers who keep encouraging me as this writing helps me to realize what matters and what doesn't matter so much which may help the people I encounter so we all help each other if we support some kind of wisdom and awakened life. "Some kind of awakened life". May this be something that happens to us all.
August 14, 2013
Paradoxes in Buddhism
You must have already come across some of these paradoxes in Buddhism. I am going to go through some of the typical paradoxes we encounter in Buddhism and I'll try to explain them or why we tend to deny or reject them and why they make sense, although they go against our common understanding of things. First I'll list these paradoxes and then I'll try to explain the first four or five. Tomorrow or later today or sometime, I promise, I will continue and write about the rest of the paradoxes.
Paradox No. 1
We sometimes try hard to attain the so called state of enlightenment, yet this state is the most ordinary state we experience many times a day.
Paradox No. 2
Zazen is useless, there is nothing we can gain in zazen, yet many authentic Buddhist masters considered zazen the essence of Buddhism and said there is no Buddhism without zazen.
Paradox No 3
There is a lot of philosophical talk in Buddhism, there are lots of books, where even the most excellent Buddhist monks failed to understand certain aspects of Buddhism, yet ultimately, there is nothing to understand intellectually. Intellectual understanding has to be transcended. In other words, although Buddhist philosophy is complex and intelligent, a true Buddhist leaves intellectual thought and becomes a simpleton.
Paradox No 4
The most excellent Buddhist masters spent years and years practicing zazen and studying Buddhist philosophy, yet the only time we can fulfil our Buddhist efforts is just now.
Paradox No 5
Although it is important to realize that our actions change the world so we have to act responsibly and thoughtfully, we are perfectly free and unlimited by our past actions in this very moment.
Paradox No 6
Although people interested in Buddhism hope to find perfect peace one day, the only way how to find perfect peace of mind is to stop trying to attain perfect peace of mind and just do something.
Paradox No 7
You look up to your master and hope to at least be similar to him or her, yet she is doing her best to convince you that you have been the Buddha since the very beginning.
Ad No 1
Somebody said that enlightenment is the very ordinary state of body and mind. Different teachers said more or less the same thing about it. Some of them were able to say it in a way that impressed you, some of them say it in a way that makes you fall asleep (boring cliches...), yet no matter if you are impressed or not, it is true, that enlightenment is your ordinary state. How to say it or how to explain this in a way that would not sound like repeating the same old truth over and over again? I think the danger or misunderstanding lies in this: If the highest state in Buddhism called enlightenment means the most ordinary state then there is absolutely nothing I should try to do or achieve in Buddhism and will just go back to my good old common lifestyle and thinking. But that's not what is meant by "ordinary" by those excellent Buddhist teachers. To go back to the market and buy wine is called enlightenment, final liberation or Buddha nature, but that is not exactly the state you always go shopping in your favorite supermarket. To become perfectly ordinary in Buddhism doesn't mean you go back to your materialistic frame of mind. So if enlightenment is just my ordinary self, I'll go back to the pub and kick somebody's ass. I'll spend all night watching porn just like Brad Warner, the famous Buddhist author, who praises porn and rock 'n' roll everywhere he goes. If that is ordinary, if that is the final liberation, I'll go to the bank and borrow a million, buy a boat and spend the rest of my life worrying how to pay for it. If ordinary means enlightenment, I'll throw out all my Buddhist books and stop practicing zazen and will spend my life arguing about soccer on Internet forums and dump all garbage in the woods. That is definitely not the ordinary state those excellent masters talked about. This kind of ordinary state is only laziness and stupidity. Take Brad Warner for example. There is a subtle difference between stupid and lazy consumption of porn in a polluted state of mind and something I would call thoughtful understanding of the complex issue called sex and finding a balanced way how to deal with your sex energy. Which is what Brad Warner is supporting, not getting lost in hedonism and materialism. There is a gigantic difference between cynically dirty and cheerfully mischievous. The way we should be ordinary in Buddhism, the way we go shopping is not lazy and materialistic and frustrated or restless, demanding and dissatisfied. The way old Zen masters went to the market was cheerful and content, caring and natural, spontaneous and wise. We must study carefully what ordinary in Buddhism means. We should try to understand this point very well, because if enlightenment in Buddhism is our ordinary state, that ordinary state might be something we haven't even noticed yet! So I am not saying it is something exotic, esoteric and special. But it it not our old lazy or restless self. It is the mind of a three year old kid who has just discovered a butterfly in the grass. It is the mind of an old philosophy professor who has put down the book and lighted his cigar with pleasure. It is the mind of a cyclist who has forgot his ambitions and decided to change gears before the steep uphill section of the race. It is the mind of a beginner who has no idea what zazen is and listens to instructions on how to sit zazen and tries to sit properly. The ordinary state in Buddhism is our perfect Buddha state, it is our original, natural caring about the universe and it is our complete freedom and satisfaction in the middle of everyday chores. It is saying hello to friends and putting dirty clothes into the washing machine. It is saying Oh well, when something goes wrong, without putting ourselves in the middle of the universe. It is sadness of the universe, the happiness of the universe, the fear of the universe, the complete satisfaction of the universe. It is not a stupid fellow saying I know everything. It is stupid wisdom and wise stupidity, it is an open window, it is a moment when everything is open. It is the moment we don't try to understand what doesn't have to be understood. It is the sun coming out of the clouds and going back behind the clouds. It is the flower in Buddha's hand and Mahakasyapa's smile. It is the beginning of Buddhism and the end of Buddhism. It is the most important thing in our lives and it is sitting right on our noses in this moment.
Ad No 2
The great goal of Buddhism, the noble goal of Buddhism is to learn that just doing something now is the best we can achieve. Usually we expect zazen to give us peace or wisdom or enlightenment or possibly all these things in one package. Four in one. But although we cannot deny that zazen gives an individual some individual benefits, if we consider zazen something that should satisfy one's individual needs, it is not the zazen of buddhas and ancestors. If we want to taste the zazen of Buddha Gautama or master Dogen, we have to try to enter the state of things beyond our individual self. In that realm there is nothing to gain as the whole universe loses and gains in each moment of zazen. If we realize that our zazen is satisfying, it is not really master Dogen's zazen. If we transcend the point where I am not interested in my zazen any more, there is the point in which all buddhas meet. We only practice shikantaza when we stop looking for our individual profit in zazen. We can only have the taste of Buddha's realization if we stop attaining realization for our separate self. Only when we are interested in the realization of the universe, can we practice the universal realization. We can have a little bit of personal profit from zazen, but if we let go of personal in zazen, the whole universe gains and loses, but for the universe, there is no difference between loss and gain. Then you are not interested in your own benefits. You don't stop practicing zazen just because you have had enough or you have achieved the nice, peaceful state. You only begin to practice zazen when you are not interested in your personal zazen any more. That's when shikantaza starts.
This sounds very difficult. You think most people experience nice states in zazen or struggle personally and almost nobody can practice zazen without a personal flavour to it. But in fact, moment after moment, when we think "I feel... I can't attain.... I have attained.... I am peaceful.... I am impatient..." even if we are practicing in the middle of our personal thoughts and delusion about ourselves, moment after moment we forget... we forget what we are and what we are doing individually and the shikantaza of zazen, our original state, the universal self, is practicing zazen together with the silly self. It's like I... Buddha.... I am .... forget... Buddha... Buddha appears over and over again and after some time, maybe after twenty minutes, you stop struggling and you give up and let Buddha take over and then you / Buddha practice peacefully. You give up your personal hopes or fears and let Buddha - your true self - practice. So some masters say that after twenty or thirty years of everyday zazen you will become familiar with your true self. But that doesn't mean that you are not essentially Buddha even at the beginning. Even if you practice zazen for the first time and you do it sincerely, trying to keep the right posture, you are expressing completely your Buddha nature and you have no reason to think that there is something special to look for in zazen. So for a beginner, it may be easier to just practice. A beginner is open to the situation. Whatever happens, she will experience it completely. Then later, the beginner is no longer a beginner and may think: Today I hope I'll feel peaceful after zazen. That's already... it is natural, but it is not why we practice zazen originally. Of course we realize zazen brings peace and balance to our everyday life, but we should not forget that it is the whole universe that brought peace to the whole universe, not just me or you. Zazen is the whole universe. So when we practice zazen, the limited self doesn't matter any more and there is nothing to get for the limited self. But the whole universe becomes itself. Whether it is gain or loss, I don't think the universe is interested in such categories.
Add No 3
A true Buddhist becomes a simpleton. That doesn't mean you try to understand something and then you fail to understand, then you give up and walk around saying I don't understand Buddhism. I mean there are moments of intellectual discussions when we ask or answer, when we try to understand something and sometimes we understand and sometimes we don't. But ultimately the most important thing is to not let intellectual thought take over our true self, our Buddhist experience. So a Chinese master made a circle in the air. Do you understand? It was his way how to make a step forward and leave the intellectual discussion. It is not giving up or saying: "I don't understand sutras". It means after some intellectual discussion it is necessary to return to the real state of things. Whether we understand or don't understand Buddhism intellectually, it is not as important as to be able to do something here and now. Some old Chinese masters were simple and only explained Buddhism in simple words and actions. Master Dogen was a genius. Whether you are a genius or a simple person doesn't matter, but whether you can express your Buddha nature in your everyday life, that matters very much. So if you want to make tea in the morning but are not able to do it, and instead open a book of sutras and look for solution there, that's a big problem. But if somebody cannot understand a sutra, but makes delicious tea in the morning, all sutra experts should visit such a person and learn from her. All sutras tell stories about somebody who can make nice tea in the morning. Only people who have made something real can talk about Buddhism without embarrassing themselves. Intellectuals who cannot appreciate real people who do real things have no room in Buddhism. All my words are ridiculous unless I actually do something in my real life. Only because I actually do practice zazen and do go to work and do have to deal with all kinds of problems in my life, only because such things do I feel bold enough to write something about Buddhism. There is a Zen teacher in Britain who hasn't published any books about Buddhism, who hasn't even posted his name in the website of his group, somebody I have never heard said or written anything about Buddhism, yet he is a great Buddhist teacher because he does something real, he goes and practices zazen with others and I am sure that he tries to answer questions about Buddhism. It is not important whether he writes a blog or a book or whether he can say something amazing about Buddhism. What is important is that he doesn't lie about himself and Buddhism and practices zazen with others and does his job in his everyday life. That's what I call excellent Buddhist teaching.
Ad No 4
How old are you? I am 46 but sometimes I forget how old I am. I think a few weeks ago I tried hard to remember how old I was and had to count the years on my fingers. I was born in 1967 so I must be 46. But whether I am really 46 I don't know. Maybe I am 146. So in the social world we deal with plans and duties that are connected to some days or time, but really we can only exist in this moment. So paradoxically you can only achieve 100 years of hard practice if you give up those 100 years you have already practiced. Only if you forget how old you are and how long you have practiced, be it one week or 300 years, only when you forget when you started and when you want to finish, then you can begin to practice. you can only begin to live your true life if you forget what you did before this moment. You can only be reborn now. The great thing about Buddhism is that it tells us that we are all naked babies, just born in this moment. So we don't have to worry. Even if they say, you know, you did such and such yesterday, the newly born baby doesn't care, it is busy doing something now. So even if you think you have practiced zazen for 30 years and it makes you a great Buddhist, it means nothing now and now you are a newly born baby and nobody can put you in prison even if you killed somebody yesterday. Of course, in the social world, you end up in prison, that's right, but in prison, nobody can prevent you from being reborn right here, right now. So the people who practice zazen in prison may experience the freedom of somebody who has no past and no future. A true Buddhist teacher points to the social reality, but also to the freedom and value of here and now. Even if you are 100 years old, you can become a Buddhist beginner and a great Buddha in the moment you first begin to practice. But somebody who says: I have been practicing zazen for 30 years so that makes me a 30 star Buddha, is a fool. It is important to practice zazen over and over again, for one year, ten years, fifty years, but after all what matters is that you begin to practice every day, not that you are aware of your years of practice. So you are not proud of your long experience. You are proud of the buddhas of the present moment who are willing to start zazen from scratch.
to be continued (I promise! -or you've been warned... )
Paradox No. 1
We sometimes try hard to attain the so called state of enlightenment, yet this state is the most ordinary state we experience many times a day.
Paradox No. 2
Zazen is useless, there is nothing we can gain in zazen, yet many authentic Buddhist masters considered zazen the essence of Buddhism and said there is no Buddhism without zazen.
Paradox No 3
There is a lot of philosophical talk in Buddhism, there are lots of books, where even the most excellent Buddhist monks failed to understand certain aspects of Buddhism, yet ultimately, there is nothing to understand intellectually. Intellectual understanding has to be transcended. In other words, although Buddhist philosophy is complex and intelligent, a true Buddhist leaves intellectual thought and becomes a simpleton.
Paradox No 4
The most excellent Buddhist masters spent years and years practicing zazen and studying Buddhist philosophy, yet the only time we can fulfil our Buddhist efforts is just now.
Paradox No 5
Although it is important to realize that our actions change the world so we have to act responsibly and thoughtfully, we are perfectly free and unlimited by our past actions in this very moment.
Paradox No 6
Although people interested in Buddhism hope to find perfect peace one day, the only way how to find perfect peace of mind is to stop trying to attain perfect peace of mind and just do something.
Paradox No 7
You look up to your master and hope to at least be similar to him or her, yet she is doing her best to convince you that you have been the Buddha since the very beginning.
Ad No 1
Somebody said that enlightenment is the very ordinary state of body and mind. Different teachers said more or less the same thing about it. Some of them were able to say it in a way that impressed you, some of them say it in a way that makes you fall asleep (boring cliches...), yet no matter if you are impressed or not, it is true, that enlightenment is your ordinary state. How to say it or how to explain this in a way that would not sound like repeating the same old truth over and over again? I think the danger or misunderstanding lies in this: If the highest state in Buddhism called enlightenment means the most ordinary state then there is absolutely nothing I should try to do or achieve in Buddhism and will just go back to my good old common lifestyle and thinking. But that's not what is meant by "ordinary" by those excellent Buddhist teachers. To go back to the market and buy wine is called enlightenment, final liberation or Buddha nature, but that is not exactly the state you always go shopping in your favorite supermarket. To become perfectly ordinary in Buddhism doesn't mean you go back to your materialistic frame of mind. So if enlightenment is just my ordinary self, I'll go back to the pub and kick somebody's ass. I'll spend all night watching porn just like Brad Warner, the famous Buddhist author, who praises porn and rock 'n' roll everywhere he goes. If that is ordinary, if that is the final liberation, I'll go to the bank and borrow a million, buy a boat and spend the rest of my life worrying how to pay for it. If ordinary means enlightenment, I'll throw out all my Buddhist books and stop practicing zazen and will spend my life arguing about soccer on Internet forums and dump all garbage in the woods. That is definitely not the ordinary state those excellent masters talked about. This kind of ordinary state is only laziness and stupidity. Take Brad Warner for example. There is a subtle difference between stupid and lazy consumption of porn in a polluted state of mind and something I would call thoughtful understanding of the complex issue called sex and finding a balanced way how to deal with your sex energy. Which is what Brad Warner is supporting, not getting lost in hedonism and materialism. There is a gigantic difference between cynically dirty and cheerfully mischievous. The way we should be ordinary in Buddhism, the way we go shopping is not lazy and materialistic and frustrated or restless, demanding and dissatisfied. The way old Zen masters went to the market was cheerful and content, caring and natural, spontaneous and wise. We must study carefully what ordinary in Buddhism means. We should try to understand this point very well, because if enlightenment in Buddhism is our ordinary state, that ordinary state might be something we haven't even noticed yet! So I am not saying it is something exotic, esoteric and special. But it it not our old lazy or restless self. It is the mind of a three year old kid who has just discovered a butterfly in the grass. It is the mind of an old philosophy professor who has put down the book and lighted his cigar with pleasure. It is the mind of a cyclist who has forgot his ambitions and decided to change gears before the steep uphill section of the race. It is the mind of a beginner who has no idea what zazen is and listens to instructions on how to sit zazen and tries to sit properly. The ordinary state in Buddhism is our perfect Buddha state, it is our original, natural caring about the universe and it is our complete freedom and satisfaction in the middle of everyday chores. It is saying hello to friends and putting dirty clothes into the washing machine. It is saying Oh well, when something goes wrong, without putting ourselves in the middle of the universe. It is sadness of the universe, the happiness of the universe, the fear of the universe, the complete satisfaction of the universe. It is not a stupid fellow saying I know everything. It is stupid wisdom and wise stupidity, it is an open window, it is a moment when everything is open. It is the moment we don't try to understand what doesn't have to be understood. It is the sun coming out of the clouds and going back behind the clouds. It is the flower in Buddha's hand and Mahakasyapa's smile. It is the beginning of Buddhism and the end of Buddhism. It is the most important thing in our lives and it is sitting right on our noses in this moment.
Ad No 2
The great goal of Buddhism, the noble goal of Buddhism is to learn that just doing something now is the best we can achieve. Usually we expect zazen to give us peace or wisdom or enlightenment or possibly all these things in one package. Four in one. But although we cannot deny that zazen gives an individual some individual benefits, if we consider zazen something that should satisfy one's individual needs, it is not the zazen of buddhas and ancestors. If we want to taste the zazen of Buddha Gautama or master Dogen, we have to try to enter the state of things beyond our individual self. In that realm there is nothing to gain as the whole universe loses and gains in each moment of zazen. If we realize that our zazen is satisfying, it is not really master Dogen's zazen. If we transcend the point where I am not interested in my zazen any more, there is the point in which all buddhas meet. We only practice shikantaza when we stop looking for our individual profit in zazen. We can only have the taste of Buddha's realization if we stop attaining realization for our separate self. Only when we are interested in the realization of the universe, can we practice the universal realization. We can have a little bit of personal profit from zazen, but if we let go of personal in zazen, the whole universe gains and loses, but for the universe, there is no difference between loss and gain. Then you are not interested in your own benefits. You don't stop practicing zazen just because you have had enough or you have achieved the nice, peaceful state. You only begin to practice zazen when you are not interested in your personal zazen any more. That's when shikantaza starts.
This sounds very difficult. You think most people experience nice states in zazen or struggle personally and almost nobody can practice zazen without a personal flavour to it. But in fact, moment after moment, when we think "I feel... I can't attain.... I have attained.... I am peaceful.... I am impatient..." even if we are practicing in the middle of our personal thoughts and delusion about ourselves, moment after moment we forget... we forget what we are and what we are doing individually and the shikantaza of zazen, our original state, the universal self, is practicing zazen together with the silly self. It's like I... Buddha.... I am .... forget... Buddha... Buddha appears over and over again and after some time, maybe after twenty minutes, you stop struggling and you give up and let Buddha take over and then you / Buddha practice peacefully. You give up your personal hopes or fears and let Buddha - your true self - practice. So some masters say that after twenty or thirty years of everyday zazen you will become familiar with your true self. But that doesn't mean that you are not essentially Buddha even at the beginning. Even if you practice zazen for the first time and you do it sincerely, trying to keep the right posture, you are expressing completely your Buddha nature and you have no reason to think that there is something special to look for in zazen. So for a beginner, it may be easier to just practice. A beginner is open to the situation. Whatever happens, she will experience it completely. Then later, the beginner is no longer a beginner and may think: Today I hope I'll feel peaceful after zazen. That's already... it is natural, but it is not why we practice zazen originally. Of course we realize zazen brings peace and balance to our everyday life, but we should not forget that it is the whole universe that brought peace to the whole universe, not just me or you. Zazen is the whole universe. So when we practice zazen, the limited self doesn't matter any more and there is nothing to get for the limited self. But the whole universe becomes itself. Whether it is gain or loss, I don't think the universe is interested in such categories.
Add No 3
A true Buddhist becomes a simpleton. That doesn't mean you try to understand something and then you fail to understand, then you give up and walk around saying I don't understand Buddhism. I mean there are moments of intellectual discussions when we ask or answer, when we try to understand something and sometimes we understand and sometimes we don't. But ultimately the most important thing is to not let intellectual thought take over our true self, our Buddhist experience. So a Chinese master made a circle in the air. Do you understand? It was his way how to make a step forward and leave the intellectual discussion. It is not giving up or saying: "I don't understand sutras". It means after some intellectual discussion it is necessary to return to the real state of things. Whether we understand or don't understand Buddhism intellectually, it is not as important as to be able to do something here and now. Some old Chinese masters were simple and only explained Buddhism in simple words and actions. Master Dogen was a genius. Whether you are a genius or a simple person doesn't matter, but whether you can express your Buddha nature in your everyday life, that matters very much. So if you want to make tea in the morning but are not able to do it, and instead open a book of sutras and look for solution there, that's a big problem. But if somebody cannot understand a sutra, but makes delicious tea in the morning, all sutra experts should visit such a person and learn from her. All sutras tell stories about somebody who can make nice tea in the morning. Only people who have made something real can talk about Buddhism without embarrassing themselves. Intellectuals who cannot appreciate real people who do real things have no room in Buddhism. All my words are ridiculous unless I actually do something in my real life. Only because I actually do practice zazen and do go to work and do have to deal with all kinds of problems in my life, only because such things do I feel bold enough to write something about Buddhism. There is a Zen teacher in Britain who hasn't published any books about Buddhism, who hasn't even posted his name in the website of his group, somebody I have never heard said or written anything about Buddhism, yet he is a great Buddhist teacher because he does something real, he goes and practices zazen with others and I am sure that he tries to answer questions about Buddhism. It is not important whether he writes a blog or a book or whether he can say something amazing about Buddhism. What is important is that he doesn't lie about himself and Buddhism and practices zazen with others and does his job in his everyday life. That's what I call excellent Buddhist teaching.
Ad No 4
How old are you? I am 46 but sometimes I forget how old I am. I think a few weeks ago I tried hard to remember how old I was and had to count the years on my fingers. I was born in 1967 so I must be 46. But whether I am really 46 I don't know. Maybe I am 146. So in the social world we deal with plans and duties that are connected to some days or time, but really we can only exist in this moment. So paradoxically you can only achieve 100 years of hard practice if you give up those 100 years you have already practiced. Only if you forget how old you are and how long you have practiced, be it one week or 300 years, only when you forget when you started and when you want to finish, then you can begin to practice. you can only begin to live your true life if you forget what you did before this moment. You can only be reborn now. The great thing about Buddhism is that it tells us that we are all naked babies, just born in this moment. So we don't have to worry. Even if they say, you know, you did such and such yesterday, the newly born baby doesn't care, it is busy doing something now. So even if you think you have practiced zazen for 30 years and it makes you a great Buddhist, it means nothing now and now you are a newly born baby and nobody can put you in prison even if you killed somebody yesterday. Of course, in the social world, you end up in prison, that's right, but in prison, nobody can prevent you from being reborn right here, right now. So the people who practice zazen in prison may experience the freedom of somebody who has no past and no future. A true Buddhist teacher points to the social reality, but also to the freedom and value of here and now. Even if you are 100 years old, you can become a Buddhist beginner and a great Buddha in the moment you first begin to practice. But somebody who says: I have been practicing zazen for 30 years so that makes me a 30 star Buddha, is a fool. It is important to practice zazen over and over again, for one year, ten years, fifty years, but after all what matters is that you begin to practice every day, not that you are aware of your years of practice. So you are not proud of your long experience. You are proud of the buddhas of the present moment who are willing to start zazen from scratch.
to be continued (I promise! -or you've been warned... )
June 29, 2013
To Clean What Is Already Clean
Usually when we see dirt, mess, especially at home, sometimes we feel, oh, that's so dirty, time to clean up. And when we clean up, we think that things are better, everything looks better. It's good to clean our house, to wash our body, to wash hair, take a shower. It is nice to wear clean clothes, to change the sheets, etc. That's how we usually see the things.
I have been very busy this past school year and often when I came home after work, sometimes at eight pm, I was too exhausted to clean up or wash the dishes. So my place hasn't been very clean lately. Usually I only clean up at weekends when I have enough energy to do something physical. In Buddhism we should learn to appreciate things "as it is", which is the expression of master Shunryu Suzuki. So we should learn to appreciate even dirt, dust, mess. So when we are in the Buddhist state, when we arrive home, even if we are tired, we can be in the Buddhist state and we arrive home feeling quite peaceful and what we see may be not so nice, too much mess. But in the Buddhist state, without trying to be idealistic, just in the natural state, we can appreciate something even if it is not very clean or organized.
So when we look around and see some problems, in Buddhism, we learn to appreciate this situation. That's the first step. Or the original state. Originally, things are perfect, the universe is without a mistake, but at the same time, the moment we are born, we are born into a mess. Each day millions of babies are born, and although they are born buddhas, they are born into a mess. They are born into an enlightened world, and at the same time they are born into a world of suffering, pain and mess. And these babies are born happy, and all of a sudden they being to cry and some of them may be in pain or some kind of trouble. So this is the situation of our life all the time, out of perfect universe, lots of problems arise. But we should learn the value of problems, or the value of dirt, because that's how we can learn the value of things as they are. Even if there is some dust on the table, we should not say: "That's wrong. We have to get rid of the dust". Because the dust is also Gautama Buddha, it is also our friend, our teacher. I don't mean the teacher who says: "Clean the dust". I mean dharma, the dust as dharma, the dust is Buddha's teaching, already. So I wonder whether it is possible to clean something when we cannot appreciate the dust. Do we want to get rid of dharma?
Even if we have a lot of problems in our personal life and we want to get rid of the problems, maybe we should first stop and reflect. What is the value of a problem? What is the value of struggling? That's why ancient masters taught that we must practice in the midst of delusion, in the midst of problems. There is value in dust, in pain, in delusion, in this imperfect world. We should learn that we cannot meet Buddha somewhere else, we can only meet Buddha in this real world. And this world is not perfect. When we learn to appreciate all things, even problems, even dust, then we can see that the world is perfect, originally. But when we cannot see the value of problems, of dust, how can we find something clean or something true? Even if we make our house perfectly clean, even if we get rid of all possible dust, maybe our mind is not so innocent and we cannot completely appreciate the state of things, we cannot completely evaluate the cleanliness of our house, if we think, dualistically, there is some dirt in front of my house, but inside my house, it is perfectly clean. In that case, there is mess everywhere. If you think you have attained some piece of mind and other people have not attained such peace of mind, what kind of peace of mind have you attained? If only one person is enlightened, nobody is enlightened. If you think: "That guy is enlightened", then he cannot be enlightened. If you think your house is clean, but their house is dirty, then there is dirt everywhere. So only after we can appreciate dirt as Buddha, as teaching of Gautama Buddha, we can appreciate both dirt and clean. Likewise, we cannot appreciate our peace of mind, if we cannot be grateful for our problems and disturbing matters. If Buddha was born into a perfectly peaceful world, if there was no suffering anywhere, he would never realized the truth. If all things were perfect, nobody would ever see the truth, we would be hopelessly deluded. If our houses were perfectly clean all the time, who would appreciate dust and who would appreciate clean things? Just like fish cannot appreciate water, a deluded person cannot appreciate dust. So if there was no dust anywhere, nobody would try to see the truth. There would only be delusion and nothing else. So it is very important to learn the value of dust and problems. And I am not saying that dust helps us see the truth because the dust is something not true. I don't mean we can become buddhas if we notice that there is dirt and mess all around and we should do something about it. I mean we can become buddhas if we see the true value of dust and mess, the true value of delusion. So delusion is not something to get rid of but something to realize completely, to appreciate completely. A true buddha can appreciate his delusions. ( Oh my, that is a beautiful woman!) A true buddha does not clean the house in order to get rid of dirt and dust. A true buddha cleans the house without changing the original state of things. It is like a horse running down the meadows. It is not trying to escape the universe, it is just running, completing the task of doing something here and now. Likewise, we don't practice zazen to escape the world of delusions, but to do something real here and now.
Now when we clean the house, we should not think: Now, things are all right, they were bad before. Or when someone realized the truth, does the person think: "Now I am a true person, but before I was deluded."? No, such a person could say: "Now I am deluded, but before I realized the truth, I was enlightened". So when we clean the house, we could even say: "Now the house is not clean, but before it was clean, it was Buddha. Now it will be Buddha again, if I stop looking at things dualistically". So to clean is enough, to do something is enough, but to say "Now it is good, before it was bad...", that's deluded.
When we have a problem, a personal problem, because we cannot really appreciate the situation, we think this is a real problem. But when we can appreciate the situation completely, it is not a problem any more, it is a situation that we should observe wisely. We can accept our problems and we can reflect upon such problems wisely. We don't have to try to escape from the world of problems. "I would like to be a buddha and have no problems any more". But as long as I want to be a buddha without problems, I will never become a buddha. So it is necessary to stop this panic and rather try to observe the real situation, like a doctor who is not frustrated when the patient is sick. When we are frustrated and think, oh well, I can never be a buddha, look at the mess of my life! That's not the Buddhist way, that's the selfish way. The Buddhist way is: "I have a problem, I wonder what it is really, I have to reflect on this problem. How can I reflect on this problem? What is this problem?" In Buddhism we learn to appreciate everything, even problems, even mistakes. If we are mistaken, we should learn to see the value of such a mistake. Because we cannot escape the perfect, original nature of things, we cannot jump from a wrong place to a good place. Buddha does not escape this place, he or she is interested in this place. If we cannot find Buddhist teaching here, we will not find it anywhere else. So when a Buddha has a problem, he or she may reflect: Ah, what is this problem about? What is the value of this problem? But a deluded person may say: "Having this problem, I cannot be a Buddhist, I am far from being a buddha, so I must get rid of this problem." That is not a Buddhist approach. To stay here, to see what is happening from the perspective of the original state of mind means to wake up the Buddhist attitude, so not to escape, not to see things duallistically, but to look at things from Buddha's perspective. How can Buddha have a problem? We usually think that Buddha has no problem. But the thing is not whether Buddha has or hasn't got a problem, the thing is how Buddha looks at problems? What does a problem mean in Buddhism? Whenever we have a problem, we can be very happy, as it is the best opportunity to practice and study dharma. A few days ago I heard some awful things about me, some gossip and I was very upset. What could I do? When I tried to solve the problem as an individual, completely separate from the universal laws, I could not do anything about the problem so I was very frustrated. But having practiced zazen again, I could see the problem was an opportunity to study and practice dharma. I may have done something wrong in the past, but now, what can I do now for myself and for others? If I am stuck in my frustration and want to be "a good person", I will be stuck even tomorrow and I will pile up problems one after another. So the only thing I can do for the universe is to "turn on the light of dharma". That doesn't make me a better person, so you can still call me a laughing stock, but I don't think dharma itself is a laughing stock. In the light of dharma, problems are not solved the usual way. In the light of dharma problems are transformed into Buddha's teaching. Even if a very silly person comes to a zendo and sits and practices zazen, you cannot deny that a buddha has appeared. If you deny that a buddha has appeared, although someone very silly has come and practices zazen sincerely, I wonder whether it is possible to discover the meaning of dharma. If you think that a buddha is someone who has never been silly or mistaken, then there have never been any buddhas or masters in the past and there will never be any buddhas or masters in the future. The meaning of Buddhism is born right in this moment when a person does something wholeheartedly. It is not necessary to get stuck in judgments and opinions.
How does Buddha appreciate dust? That's the compassion in Buddhism. It means to see the true value of things. When a Buddha meets a deluded person, Buddha becomes deluded, too. You cannot really meet someone if you think you are completely separate. So a true Buddha can meet someone completely. To meet dust means to meet Buddha. How are you, dust? There is nothing wrong with dust, is there? The common mistake in Buddhism is: "We have to make things perfect." But how can you make things perfect if you don't believe they are perfect already? How can you become a buddha, if you don't believe you are buddha already? Even if we see a prostitute in the street and think, Oh well, someone far from the noble life of buddhas, I wonder whether we know what the noble life of buddha is, if we cannot see a prostitute properly. To see a prostitute properly we have to forget our narrow opinions and enter the universe directly. Then we may meet someone wise, whose job happens to be a prostitute. In Buddhism we don't try to change things, from deluded to enlightened, or from dirty to clean, but we learn to appreciate our original Buddha nature and the original nature of all things. So we don't hope that prostitutes become buddhas and devils become angels. We just hope that the universe becomes real, but we cannot wait until somebody else turns on the light of the universe. Nobody can do it for us, we have to turn on the universe ourselves, by practicing the truth. Then meeting a prostitute may be meeting a buddha, but it is impossible to explain, if we have no experience with meeting true people. In other words, if we don't meet a Buddhist teacher as a real person, we will confuse buddhas and devils and we will not know the buddha nature of prostitutes. Only if we meet a true Buddhist teacher and learn the value of ordinary things and ordinary beings from him or her, we won't feel superior or upset when we see a prostitute. We will know the meaning of such encounter, the meaning of a human life, beyond right or wrong.
When we truly discover the value of dust, we can really clean something without making even more mess. When we truly discover the value of our original nature, we can truly express our Buddha nature. So we have to stop our dualistic thinking for a while, in order to see something valuable here, in this imperfect situation. Then we can see that it is nice to clean things or practice zazen. It is very difficult to practice zazen if we don't believe in our Buddha nature already. But it is nice to practice zazen when we are in no hurry to become buddhas. When we are in no hurry to clean up or become a buddha, we can clean up something even now. When we are in no hurry to become Buddha, we can express our Buddha nature even now. But when we are seriously stuck in the dualistic understanding of things, like this is really dirty and I am really not Buddha, then it is very difficult to do something, even make a single step forward. In the modern world, most people are very active as their motivation is to satisfy something. They know that if they work extremely hard, they will make lots of money or if they climb the highest mountain, it will be extremely satisfying to reach the summit. But a Buddhist way of things is different. It is extremely satisfying to stop looking at things dualistically and discover that already here and now we have achieved the best. It is not visible, but at the same time, if we cannot see the universe in front of us, we have to open our eyes, that's all we can do to see it. So at the beginning of a long journey, a buddha can find satisfaction, a true meaning of the journey. Although we have only begun to practice zazen, it is already completed. When we feel we haven't practiced zazen long enough, we may be frustrated: I don't feel peaceful yet, I have to practice a bit more. But when you appreciate the posture of zazen even at the beginning, you don't have to stop, you don't have to continue, you just sit there. When it is time to stop, you stop. From the ordinary point of view, we may practice zazen for twenty minutes, but I wonder how long zazen is. For a buddha, it is only the present moment. For a buddha, who is not trying to escape this world of dust, for a buddha, who is satisfied with the deluded state here and now, it is something we don't have to achieve, it is something we just do here and now, regardless of any goals or results, success or failure. Dirty or clean, we do something every day. No matter if the universe is dirty or clean, we repeat the usual activities of human beings.
May 26, 2013
Zazen Poem by Kodo Sawaki
Here is a poem by Kodo Sawaki and my comments.
Kodo Sawaki
Zazen Poem
Doing zazen calmly in the dojo,
Putting aside all negative thoughts,
Obtaining nothing but a mind without desire,
-This joy is beyond paradise.
The world runs after fame, honor,
Beautiful clothes and comfort.
But these pleasures are not true peace.
You run and stay unsatisfied until death!
Wear the kesa and black robe and practice zazen.
Concentrate with a single mind, whether still or in motion.
See with your own eyes deep inner wisdom.
Observe and know intimately the true aspect of all action and all existence.
Be able to observe balance.
Understand and know with a mind that is perfectly still.
If you are like this,
Your spiritual dimension,
The highest in this world,
Will be beyond compare.
.............................................................................................................................................................
Now
I'd like to add my comments.
Doing zazen calmly in the dojo,
Putting aside all negative thoughts,
Obtaining nothing but a mind without desire,
-This joy is beyond paradise.
My comment:
Even
if we are upset or cannot seem to calm down during zazen, we still
put aside all negative thoughts, just in the tiny moment of here and
now, having corrected our posture. We can notice, be it for a tiny
fraction of a second or every now and then, that we cannot keep our
negative thoughts, we cannot be upset non-stop, so sooner or later,
during or after zazen, we have to give up whichever feeling may
bother us... in zazen something straight and calm is supporting you.
It may be the very straight spine where the original universe
appears.
A
mind without desire is not a mind that thinks: “I have no desire,
you do.” A mind without desire is the mind of zazen which doesn't
chase the mind without desire. It is the mind which notices that the
universe itself is not a place to complain about lack of luck. We
have to face things square after all, we cannot escape reality, no
matter if it is nice or dark. At the end of the day, nothing can be
kept, no matter how much we would like to keep it. The mind without
desire is the mind that gave up trying to keep everything forever,
floating freely like a leaf in the wind, moment after moment, no
matter if desire arises or not. A brave person says sincerely: “I
am sad”. But a brave person doesn't beg for comfort. He or she
faces things without trying to escape the truth. To practice zazen
facing the wall is also our noble determination to face reality, no
matter what it brings or takes away.
The world runs after fame, honor,
Beautiful clothes and comfort.
But these pleasures are not true peace.
You run and stay unsatisfied until death!
My
comment:
After
all we would be blind if we thought that we could make ourselves
greater through fame or honor. We may wear beautiful clothes and be
respected by wide spectrum of people - that's no problem. The problem
appears once we think we can raise above others or above our lack of
wisdom by wearing beautiful clothes or special clothes or kesa or
getting applause from huge crowds or by acting as if we were
enlightened (although it is hard for me to imagine how one would act
if he or she wanted to act enlightened). If we are not satisfied
with the ordinary state of things, when we feel unsuccessful or
silly, we may try to seek the assistance of dharma, which is
unobstructed by human opinions, and we can find deep meaning in the
serene, balanced state of zazen. When we practice zazen, there is no
need to stand above others or convince others that we deserve more
respect or attention. If there is anything that deserves more respect
and attention, it is the universe as it is. The dharma of everyday
life, the dharma of the person who is perfectly happy with his or her
natural character, no matter if others say yes or no, approve or
disapprove, that's the dharma we should follow, it is nothing for
noble people or people who always want more and can never feel
satisfied. It is for people who realize that their life is raw,
without bells and whistles and even if they feel lousy, miserable
today, such people can always return to the simple state of zazen
and forget their foolish ideas, about themselves or others. A simple
person without honors or ranks appears in the posture of Buddha. Then
there is no reason to brag or whine and the universe becomes the
place where one can act beyond good or bad, high or low and express
the true self perfectly, completely, without leaving any spiritual or
magic traces.
Wear the kesa and black robe and practice zazen.
Concentrate with a single mind, whether still or in motion.
See with your own eyes deep inner wisdom.
Observe and know intimately the true aspect of all action and all existence.
Be able to observe balance.
Understand and know with a mind that is perfectly still.
My
comment:
Kesa
is the symbol of determination, it means one is determined to follow
the path of buddhas. It means we have faith in the true state of
things and realize the limits of the secular world, the limits of
passions. If we believe in kesa, the ordinary, simple piece of cloth,
which is beyond beautiful or ugly, then we believe in the wisdom of
the universe which is just itself. The universe never tries to
impress or discourage people from minding their business. So when we
sit down and practice zazen, we can forget the world of complicated
matters, be it intellectual or emotional, and accept both the vigor
of the universe, and the silence that supports it from within. So
being quiet in zazen, without making fuss about this or that, we can observe
how still, how not worded, not judged everything is essentially. So
our mind can be put to rest.
If you are like this,
Your spiritual dimension,
The highest in this world,
Will be beyond compare.
My comment:
Although the last words of Sawaki may
sound very spiritual, he means that there is no higher or lower in
the true person of here and now, no higher or lower in the buddha of
everyday life. If you are like this, it means if you do
believe in the truth of the universe, rather than ranks of people or
splendid words and thoughts, you cannot miss the true buddha in the
middle of your own heart. Buddha that is far away, the historical
Buddha or the buddha you imagine somewhere in a famous temple, may be
only a broken image nobody can awake. But the buddha you find right
in your heart, is perfectly intact. That's the buddha all scriptures
talk about.
January 26, 2013
Dharma Transmission - 2018 version
I wrote the following article several years ago and later decided to rename it from Dharma Transmission to Dharma Flowing, as Mike, my teacher, warned me not to write about something I haven't experienced. This year, I decided to have a look at what I'd written about dharma transmission in the past and made a few changes, especially the ending is different. You could say that the article is almost the same, so it seems I knew what dharma transmission is even a few years ago. But what I wrote then was a kind of intellectual exercise rather than something I experienced. Today I can say that what I wrote makes sense and I think it is true, but now I can add that "little" detail - I have that experience now. You can notice that someone who has never been to Slovakia may study history of the country, study maps, observe photographs, take notes, memorize facts, learn fluent Slovak, but still have no experience of Slovakia. Such a person may know really a lot about the country, whereas a simple peasant living far away in the mountains may have never heard of the capital and may have never been anywhere else except two or three mountains and a valley near his cottage. Who knows more about Slovakia? The simple fact is that the peasant has experience, true experience, even if he cannot say much about the country. The educated person interested in Slovakia may have amazing knowledge about the country, but still absolutely nothing of true experience. It is the same with Buddhism. You may have studied a lot and you may understand a lot, but if you lack experience, you cannot compare to a simple little known teacher living far away in the mountains, who has not read much about Buddhism, but has had true experience practicing zazen and learning about Buddhism from a true master. Now I can say that I had studied and practiced quite diligently before writing this article, but to see the country is still something different. I remember how much I'd loved France before I finally visited the country in 1987 or so. I'd studied French and knew a lot about the geography, but to cross the border in Menton and see real French people talking to me in French, their smiles and funny intonation and the glittering waves of the Mediterranean... nothing compared to that. And I was over the moon! I still remember that feeling.
Buddhist teachers, after receiving a dharma transmission from Buddhist teachers, don't say: “Now I am a complete person, a complete buddha and now I know what to do and what to say”. Instead, they go back and sit in zazen and maybe ask: "Is this Buddha-mind-seal?" Kodo Sawaki denied being a perfect person and my teacher denies being a perfect person. These teachers go back and sit in zazen and let dharma fill their bodies and minds, over and over again, every day. Practicing zazen, they are neither arrogant, nor too shy and through this balance attain the buddha state again. When I asked my teacher about dharma transmission, how it is decided, he gave me a very realistic answer and explanation. And when I later wrote about dharma transmission, he gave me a very realistic comment again: "It is not very wise to write about things we have not experienced." There are Buddhist teachers who do not compromise the truth and kindly correct and advise their students. How can we know about things we have not experienced? Even if master Dogen wrote about gods, celestial beings, buddhas and ancient patriarchs, which seems far from reality of his life, when we carefully observe and study what he actually wrote, we may come to the conclusion that he only wrote about his own experience, his experience of reality and used all kinds of images and concepts to point to the reality beyond images and concepts.
When Buddha Gautama confirmed Mahakasyapa’s smile on the Vulture Peak
What does “Buddha-mind-seal” mean? It is the confirmation of the Buddha state directly from Gautama Buddha. When we sit in zazen, we may feel lonely or lacking understanding or being ignored by the master or buddhas, but in fact as we sit in zazen sincerely, we receive the confirmation of dharma from Gautama Buddha himself. Receiving confirmation of dharma from Gautama Buddha means receiving confirmation from mountains, rivers, trees, birds and pots.
When we sit in zazen, we may ask: Is this Buddha-mind-seal? Is this Buddha Dharma confirmed? And immediately we receive the confirmation from Buddha Gautama: “Yes, this is Buddha-mind-seal, Buddha himself talking to you, don’t worry, I, Buddha Gautama confirm that this zazen is Buddha Dharma realized here and now completely”. So we receive confirmation from Buddha Gautama whenever we sit in zazen, as long as we not only hope to receive the confirmation, but when we also accept the confirmation from Buddha Gautama himself.
Some people only wait for something to happen – will I ever attain enlightenment? Will I ever receive peaceful mind, will I ever receive dharma transmission from my teacher? But when we are seated wholeheartedly and firmly in the Buddha posture, we can stop asking one-sidedly and stop hoping one-sidedly and rather complete one half with the other half. And in our everyday life we can complete half an action with the other half. So when we ask, it's right there - the answer from Buddha Gautama appears within the instantaneous action in the real world. When we have doubts about pouring tea, we should just pour the tea and accept that as the actual answer from Gautama himself. When the tea is poured, it is dharma flowing and dharma affirmed. When we ask: “Is this pouring tea dharma flowing?”, we should just pour the tea and receive the positive reply from Buddha immediately. When we sit in zazen and only ask: “Is this Buddha dharma?”, then we may notice how quickly there is a person sitting in zazen, asking nothing. So the person sitting in zazen is affirming the person sitting in zazen, which is not different from buddha affirming buddha. This is what master Dogen calls the Buddha-mind-seal, affirmation. So when we let the Buddha-mind-seal complete our body and mind, this posture here and now as we just sit, dharma has filled our body and mind.
Buddhist teachers, after receiving a dharma transmission from Buddhist teachers, don't say: “Now I am a complete person, a complete buddha and now I know what to do and what to say”. Instead, they go back and sit in zazen and maybe ask: "Is this Buddha-mind-seal?" Kodo Sawaki denied being a perfect person and my teacher denies being a perfect person. These teachers go back and sit in zazen and let dharma fill their bodies and minds, over and over again, every day. Practicing zazen, they are neither arrogant, nor too shy and through this balance attain the buddha state again. When I asked my teacher about dharma transmission, how it is decided, he gave me a very realistic answer and explanation. And when I later wrote about dharma transmission, he gave me a very realistic comment again: "It is not very wise to write about things we have not experienced." There are Buddhist teachers who do not compromise the truth and kindly correct and advise their students. How can we know about things we have not experienced? Even if master Dogen wrote about gods, celestial beings, buddhas and ancient patriarchs, which seems far from reality of his life, when we carefully observe and study what he actually wrote, we may come to the conclusion that he only wrote about his own experience, his experience of reality and used all kinds of images and concepts to point to the reality beyond images and concepts.
We can notice that when we get stuck in dreams or only hope to get something without doing something concrete, we may speak or write about things we have never experienced. Have we experienced Buddha-mind-seal in zazen? Have we experienced transmission of dharma from mountains, rivers, trees and birds? We receive the confirmation of the truth from real things every day, in every instant. This is what master Dogen sometimes calls transmission or sometimes affirmation. So whether we accept such affirmation or not, we can sit in zazen and see what happens. We are encouraged by ancient masters to accept the truth, accept Dharma in zazen, we are assured that sitting in zazen is not different from being a buddha. But what we actually experience is beyond words, description, categories. We can let go of categories and concepts in zazen. Then what happens is not being void, empty, or hopeless. Even if we feel strange or disturbed, what happens is dharma flowing. So when we ask in zazen: “What is this?”, we can freely receive the answer: “This is Buddha”. How is zazen different from dharma coming and being received completely? How is zazen different from Gautama’s turning a flower and Mahakasyapa’s smiling? That’s why it is called Buddha-mind-seal and why master Dogen taught that zazen is not different from Buddha-mind-seal. So when we ask in the kitchen: “What is this?”, we can just pour the tea while letting dharma flow, letting buddhas affirm reality and leaving concepts in the closets and cabinets. In that moment there is nothing lacking and the great unselfish satisfaction of buddhas may freely come into our hearts and freely leave our hearts. We can be free to ask and doubt what Buddha is and we can be free to receive confirmation from buddhas, which is not different from our real life. When we open the door, somebody may come and somebody may go.
"Before dharma transmission" is only an idea, "after dharma transmission", is also only an idea, yet it is important to realize that we can learn something valuable and we can have experience, be it experience traveling to Slovakia or experience learning from a teacher or experience obtaining dharma transmission from a teacher or experience teaching others about our true experience.
"Before dharma transmission" is only an idea, "after dharma transmission", is also only an idea, yet it is important to realize that we can learn something valuable and we can have experience, be it experience traveling to Slovakia or experience learning from a teacher or experience obtaining dharma transmission from a teacher or experience teaching others about our true experience.
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